-Welcome back. -Thanks, Seth.
-I'm so happy to have you here. -Yeah, I'm happy to be here.
-Great. [ Cheers and applause ]
And I brought you something.
I know you just had a kid or whatever.
-Yep.
Oh, this is the book.
-This is the -- I just wrote this.
-Uh-huh.
-I write kids books, and so I brought you this.
And then, backstage, I heard that Benicio has a kid,
so I brought Benicio a book.
-Oh, that's so nice of you.
-Yeah, so, it's called "I'm Sad."
-Okay.
-And it's just -- Cover price is $17.99,
but just give me like 10 bucks or $20 for the two.
-$20 for the two. Can I give that to you later?
-I'd rather -- I mean, I don't want --
I'm not trying to be a dick about it,
but it would be great if you could do it now.
Who should I make it to, Seth?
-Oh, are you going to sign it for me?
-Yeah.
-Well, you can make it to my son, Ashe.
-Ashe. And then I'll just write my name.
And so now it can't be returned, so...
And I'll write this one to Benicio.
-Uh-huh. Great. Okay.
-"Benicio, all my love, Michael Ian Black."
-Okay. I feel like Benicio got
a little bit more of a signature,
like a personal message.
-I like Benicio better, just in terms of his talent.
-Yeah. All right, well, that's $20 I owe you.
-Right. Hey, can Fred see if he can guess what it's about?
[ Cheers and applause ]
-It's a science book, right? Is it just all pure science?
-Yeah. -It's pure science.
-It's, yeah, a science book.
-Yeah, it's got a flamingo and a talking potato in it.
You know, your kind of book, Fred.
-Thank you.
-This is your -- You're, no joke, a children's author.
-Yeah. -You're a regular author, too.
But this is your eighth children's book.
-It's my eighth children's book.
And it was a little demeaning that you didn't refer to --
You referred to my books for adults as "regular."
-I know.
As I said it, I realized that it was a little demeaning.
-Because children are regular people, Seth.
-Yeah.
-You know what? You know what? Full cover price.
-Okay, full cover.
So that's like 38 bucks I owe you, yeah.
Why did you -- So, I would imagine --
Are they -- Is it hard to write children's books?
-No, it's easy. It's so easy.
You can't even believe how easy it is.
-Okay, gotcha.
-I mean, you know, I grew up with, you know,
reading kids books, and you'd read, like,
from these children's authors.
And they would be like, "Oh, you have to labor over every word,
because you only have a few words."
I find it takes me maybe 90 minutes
to write a children's book.
And then I send it off to my editor,
and then somebody draws some pictures.
I have to be honest.
My illustrator for this, Debbie Ridpath Ohi,
is so amazing.
This is the second -- third time we've collaborated.
And, in all earnestness, she's really fabulous,
and I owe her a world of gratitude.
-So... [ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, give it up.
I obviously am in a place in my life
where you read children's books a lot when you are a child,
then not at all for a long stretch,
then you have kids and you start reading them again.
And did you -- Is that what
brought you to writing books, having a kid?
-Well, I had these two kids.
And you'd have to read to them all the time.
And I remember thinking to myself --
Like, after endless nights of this,
I would be like, "I bet I could write a children's book
at least as terrible as the ones I'm reading to my children."
And I was right. -You were right?
-I was right.
-Were there things -- Based on all the
books you read that were terrible,
were there traps you tried to avoid that you feel like
were the problems with children's books?
-Well, yeah, I didn't want to write any books
where you learned anything or there was, like, a message.
Like, my first one was called "Chicken Cheeks,"
and it's literally just a list of animal butts,
just one after the other.
And then, by number eight, though,
now there is a little message in here,
which I've become that [bleep] who, like,
writes children's books with messages.
-To get a message across. -Yeah.
-It seems like it might be a message, though,
about sadness?
Is that a safe bet? -Yeah.
I mean, in all...
Yes. You got it.
I mean, I find that, like, as a parent,
my instinct is, like, to make things better
and to, like, fix sadness.
And this book is really about how, sometimes,
it's okay to just kind of be sad
and to just, as a parent, let your kid be sad.
Let them have that feeling, have that space,
and just be there for them.
And that's the message.
-So you made eight books before you had a message,
and it seems like when you finally had one,
it was a good one.
-Oh, it's a great one. -Yeah.
-Are you kidding me? -Yeah.
-Fabulous. -Yeah, fabulous.
-I'm making a fortune off this. [ Laughter ]
-Do you -- They're happy for you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Your kids are 15 and 17 now. -That's right.
-Did you use them as a sounding board when they were young?
Did you trust their feedback?
-No. They have terrible taste, in general.
I did -- With the first one, I did, a little bit.
Like, I would say, "Okay, what's funnier?
Like, duck butt or, like, guinea-pig buns?"
And they would tell me.
And then, when I came up with
duck-billed platypus gluteus maximus,
and when I came up with that, I was like, "This is a book."
-Right.
And now, obviously,
they've maybe aged out a little bit.
Will they even look at this?
-Well, they are not strong readers, Seth.
-Okay. Good.
-So... -Yeah.
-Yeah, they say, that's the thing.
A lot of authors write so much,
they forget to teach their kids how to read.
-They -- No, they won't pay any attention to this.
-Okay, gotcha.
-But, in fairness, they won't watch this interview, either.
-Yeah, I gotcha.
So we can say whatever we want about them, really.
-Whatever we want.
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