I made the decision it's the most
important decision I believe of your
life that I'm not gonna separate him or
life's too short to suffer and I'm gonna
live in a beautiful state every day and
the way I do it is I'd catch myself when
I start to get that sense of stress I
let it go but I see the eye to go by so
your thoughts thoughts about this person
messing up your business you're not
falling through if I was in a room with
ten thousand people I guarantee you 60
70 percent of the business owners have
the same thoughts of dying right I ask
people all the time tell me your most
stressful thought oh I'm worried about
my children this may happen how do we be
able to have that far everybody I might
not make it finish it won't hurt me how
about everybody my point is it's not
your thought it's the mind not your mind
when you think it's your mind you
identify with it and it's it can't
separate from yourself that but when you
realize these thoughts been around for
millions of years and I'm just thinking
the same thought but so many people
thought before like how many people have
ever thought I'm gonna kill the son of a
bitch now you didn't do it then you do
not believe you're really gonna kill him
but you felt it you said it you were
there right so we all have thoughts it's
the only the stressful thoughts we
believe that mess us up so what I try to
show people is if you can start to
realize these thoughts have been around
for millions of years and so what I want
you to realize the spots are invisible
wedge we need to turn on TV it takes
invisible waves and depending on the
channel you're gonna see a love story on
adventure or a drama or a comedy or a
horn the way use your body a term is
which of those thought waves come
through you one moment you're pissed off
the next moment somebody makes you laugh
you change your body you change the
channel you change what comes through
you so what I've tried to do in this
area beautiful state is simple first
identify where you
suffering with your favorite flavor are
you a warrior are you a pissed off first
your ass angry or does it you do man
second of all decide you're gonna kill
that monster while it's little you're
not gonna wait til it's Godzilla taking
the city you're gonna break the pattern
you start to feel the stress you see it
as thoughts going by and then you focus
on something to appreciate than joy or
love appreciation love and joy destroy
something you can't be grateful and
angry simultaneously it's possible you
can't be worried and fearful and began
grateful simultaneously so I tell people
gratitude is one of the emotions to
cultivate it'll destroy the stuff and
that's what deeply wounded
if you find your passion you're gonna
have this tremendous energy of
sustainable energy but momentum requires
you always do the next thing that keep
the momentum going and the reason you
get yourself in a passionate place is so
that you change your life and the only
thing that changes your life is making a
decision so while you're in this
passionate state that's where you make
decisions you don't make decisions when
you're like oh I don't know what do you
think all right let's decide if you make
a decision in a state without momentum
if you make a decision from a place
where there's no passion you are not
gonna get momentum it'll kill momentum
it's decide commit and resolve some of
you in the past you've gotten momentum
you've gotten passionate you've even
made a decision but a decision is the
first step decision is like a war I got
to do this or that all right I'm gonna
make myself through this but commitment
is when you now after you've decided you
commit to do this for the long term
whether it's hard or easy doesn't matter
you're doing this it takes it from this
moment and it carries you to the future
even when things are difficult and the
third state is resolve resolve means
it's done it's like it doesn't even if
you took action it's done inside you so
it's done out there there's no question
whatsoever then once you decide the only
way the commitment and the energy and
the momentum continues is if you take
immediate massive what my friends
massive life write down in your notes
massive action is the cure-all massive
action is the cure-all
if you're having a difficult time with
something your relationship isn't where
you want it to be your finances are not
where you want to be your body's not
where you want to be your business is
not
wannabe you need take massive action and
if that doesn't work try something else
so that's just work try something else
keep going with massive action and you
will find the way because it will give
you momentum if you want to grow a
business I can teach you a million
strategies will change you overnight and
if I get you to use the strategy and
grow your business 30% like that you are
gonna get so excited that your story
about your business will change won't it
feel like I can lift this open I'm gonna
make this thing a hundred percent more
profitable that's why eighty percent
those people I can grow them thirty two
hundred thirty percent because once I
get into momentum people's story changes
and when their story changes the third
and most important thing changes their
state because that's what really changed
[Music]
the ultimate question I'm always asking
is how do I help people to break through
the question is what are you breaking
through to in essence all of us at some
level to feel alive have to always feel
like we're growing when people ask me
what does it take to be happy always
tell them one word progress progress
equals happiness even if you're not
where you want to be yet if you're on
the road if you're improving if you're
making progress you're gonna love it
you're gonna feel alive on the other
hand it doesn't matter how successful
you are if you stop growing
you start dying inside now how does this
relate to this session on breakthrough
I'll say it's really simple if you and I
want to know what it takes to be happy
we have to understand what is our
current blueprint of how our life's
supposed to be what do I mean by
blueprint well we have a story in our
head of how life's supposed to be some
people's story is you work hard in
school you become really great you're a
nice person you're a good person and
then you grow up and you take care of
yourself and you find the ideal man and
you fall in love you have a white picket
fence
you have three perfect children and you
live happily ever after somebody else's
story the old story was you work really
hard in school you excel in college
you're going to work for a big
corporation and you move up through the
ranks until you're the President or
chairman of the company and you become
successful respected throughout life
these are some old stories obviously the
stories that we hear today and what
people's lives are supposed to be like a
completely diverse we no longer have
these little archetypes but when our
type still seems to remain that
archetype is in order for you to really
feel like you're enough many people
believe they have to achieve an enormous
amount they may may do it in different
ways they may do it by building a
company and taking a public when they're
27 or 25 years old or you know they find
and create a new technology or they
become a very special doctor but we live
in a culture in the West that teaches
people that you're not enough unless you
do something really special and unique
and we define special and unique and
interesting ways a schoolteacher is not
special and unique a mother who stays
home with her children
day and night sculpting their minds
their bodies their souls and their
future is not special we live in a world
today where we treat teachers like
they're no
and pay them accordingly and we wonder
why our children seem to have challenges
of learning and growing or being engaged
in school we spend thousands of dollars
on some item like a computer but what we
look at overall we invest in for the
teacher and for that person is the
personal connection with them is so
small we live in a society where many
women look down and say well you're just
a housewife you're just a mother see
some of the pain we have in our society
is not because there's one right or one
wrong approach but because we try to
make everybody fit into some particular
approach to life here's what's gonna
make you happy or make you unhappy in
life it's real simple let's do a quick
test if you're in a situation right now
where you look at your life I know
there's an area of your life that you'd
probably feel pretty darn good about
even if you're not happy with your
finances I bet you feel damn good close
to your kids or if you're not close to
your kids maybe you don't have any kids
maybe you feel really good about your
career if you're doing not so good in
your career maybe you got a really great
body that you've trimmed down or
strengthened up or you know you really
shaped yourself the way you want
muscularly or and the way you look or if
that's not happening maybe you feel a
really special connection with God or
really close to your mother or father
your family whatever almost everybody
has an area of their life they feel
really good about if they're honest if
they're fair to themselves
what's any of your life you really feel
happy about how much you think about it
for a moment truthfully
what's an area in your life today that
if you wanted to be happy about it you
really could feel proud about it you
could feel like so no you're doing darn
well in and if you're really hard on
yourself there's still an area what's an
area I want to think of it right now and
once you think of that area whether it's
your body or your finances or your
career or your intimate relationship or
your relationship with your kids your
relationship with your Creator whatever
it is I want you to think about why are
you happy with that air of your life
right now today why are you happy with
that area of your life right now today
really think about if you're in a
seminar with God have you write this
down if you can you can put me on hold
here for a second because I'd like to
reveal to you what the formula is for
happiness and if I say there's a formula
for happiness and here's what it is
you're gonna go yeah yeah sure that's
what he says but if you
put down the answer and we can see the
formulas real without me telling you
what it is you get to look at your own
life and say it matches you're gonna
know this is right so you could stop
this right now if you want put me on
hold and just write down what's an area
of your life you're really really happy
about it really pleased with or you
could be if you wanted to focus on it
and why are you happy with that part of
your life right now you're gonna happy
with everything what's the ER you're
happy with and why put me on hold right
now or you're not gonna do that just
think for a moment why specifically be
real why now when I ask this if you've
turned me back on now if I ask this of
an audience I'll have people write this
down for a few minutes and I'll call on
people I'll say share with the person
next to you first
what do you happy about and why are you
happy in that area and be specific and
after they share how people stand up
I'll call in a variety people and I say
ma'am tell me what are you happy about
she'll say well honestly I'm really
happy with my body she does I never
thought I'd say that but I used to be so
unhappy with it and you know I finally I
did some things I pushed myself through
and now I exercise regularly and I'm not
perfect but I feel fit I feel strong I
feel energetic and that's really I don't
know it just feels good to me now I say
everybody I'm now gonna show you what
the form in the front Fitness is and
it's real simple I want to reveal it to
you so you don't ever forget it whenever
you're happy with the air of your life
it's because right now your current life
experience I call it your LC your life
conditions the conditions of your life
your life conditions in that area match
or equal to your blueprint your story
your belief about how life should be in
that area so this woman says to me I'm
really happy with my body because it's
not perfect her blueprint is I don't
need to be perfect but it's so much
better than it was unfit and I'm strong
and I have this energy her mental
blueprint says I should be fit strong
and have energy I don't need to be
perfect but I should be that way well in
my life my body matches how I think it
should be I feel good about my life well
not somebody else I'll say you know tell
me know you're happy with someone else
to say well I'm really happy with my
career and why well I'm doing better
than I even thought I would be I mean
I'm ahead of the schedule of where I
hoped I'd be at this stage I'm working
at this level in this company and I have
these
and this ability and it's even better
than I thought well once again listen
this person is happy with this area
their life because their current life
conditions in the area called their
career are even better than they expect
that they would be better than their
blueprint better than their belief about
how it should be
he was really better you tend to be over
the moon but one woman would say you
know I I kind of tell you I said I'm
happy he's ever been in my whole life
how come she goes because I have this
man in my life and I'm in love with him
and he loves me and I can be myself with
him and he we have this incredible
intimacy and this passion and we want to
be with each other all the time and I
never get bored with him well what's her
blueprint you want to be with somebody
that you can have total intimacy with
somebody who you love and loves you
those are part of her rules her beliefs
of how it should be she said it you know
it's needs to be I never want to be with
anybody else I want to be with him every
moment her blueprint about how life
should be and the way she lives her
relationships even better than she hoped
when it's better than you hope you're
gonna be totally excited so think about
this then what's an area you're not
happy with let's see we can find the
formula for unhappiness if the formula
for happiness is to be able to meet your
expectations or exceed them that really
makes you excited but to be happy at
least Mita doesn't have to be perfect
but if you generally are meaning what
you expect you want from your life in
that area feel good right conditions
match blueprint feel good so what makes
you feel bad or creates pain stress
frustration little easy way to figure it
out answer this question
what's an area of life you're not happy
with let me be honest with yourself and
even if your life is great all kinds of
ways I'm sure there's an area you'd like
to improve anybody who's honest if
they're doing great in their career very
often they don't take care of their body
so much if they're really focused on
their body you know very often they find
themselves in a position where they're
not spending enough time with their kids
or if they're spending time with their
kids their intimate relationships not
doing so well because it's the nature of
human beings to focus on areas they feel
comfortable with and strong in and give
those time and the areas they don't feel
so strong and they go I don't have time
for it
really say because I don't feel very
competent that area so what's an area of
your life that you are not as happy with
I mean it's healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don't like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
what I want to be that's what we're here
to do is like here's what I want to be
here's where I am it's healthy to see
there's a gap that makes me have this
hunger this drive to grow to feel alive
to expand as a human being so what is it
your body is it your finances is it your
career is it your spiritual life or lack
thereof in terms of feeling connected in
that area is it your kids like what's
the area what's the area that's not
where you want it to be and then answer
for a moment why aren't you happy with
that area of your life right now why
specifically today are you not happy
with that area of your life at this
stage of your time of your life again
you can stop this and write it down
might be useful for you or they're gonna
keep it running you stop it and you'll
turn it right back on I'll kick into it
do that now or if you kept it running
then just I'll give you what happens I
have people write this down and they
don't like this exercise so much and I
like my body or I don't like my finances
I don't like my career I don't like the
person I'm in a relationship with I
don't like myself the way I'm in
relationships why they write it all down
how people share back and forth I call
on people and the lessons pretty clear I
tell people in advance here's the
formula for unhappiness
I'll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you're living a
life today does not match it doesn't
equal your blueprint your story of how
it's supposed to be then you're gonna
have disappointment frustration or pain
if your life is way different than the
way you think it's supposed to be you
can have enormous pain if it's a little
different you might feel stressed make
sense so people stand up and they said
tell me you know what's here you're not
happy with the person says well you know
I'm really not happy with my finances
like a why and they say because I'm
doing worse now than I was five years
ago
I made mistakes in the market and at
this stage of my life I should have this
much money and I don't have it and I
don't know how to change it and it's
making me crazy then why are they crazy
you say well because they don't have
their economic needs no no you cannot
adapt your economic needs met and you
can still be ok but when you have an
idea this is what my need is and I did
the wrong thing my life doesn't match
how I'm supposed to be that's when
people get a little crazy so you think
about it if you grew up taking care of
folding your own clothes making your own
meals going to the store doing the
grocery shopping cleaning the bedroom
cleaning the house vacuuming taking out
the trash and you did that your whole
life then if you have to do that later
on you don't feel like you have economic
pain because you'll have a maid but if
you grew up an environment where
everything was done for you you never
have to work and now suddenly you have
to work incredibly hard to just pick
enough money to pay your bills and all
of a sudden food is building up and the
house is dirty and your clothes aren't
folded and nothing matches you might
find yourself really angry and
frustrated because you have a different
story about how life's supposed to be
than how it is someone else will say
well I'll tell you why because I'm in a
situation now where you know I'm 30
pounds everything I should be should be
the key word there are people there are
people in all cultures who love being
big there are people that'll walk around
and someone else might think they're
massively overweight but they're gone
I own this honey and they really truly
they match their blueprint big is
beautiful cuz their ideas big is
beautiful I'm big that's beautiful
matches my blueprint rock and roll I'm
happy as can be somebody else can look
like a twig and be stressed out saying I
hate my body because their blueprint
says I should be the skinniest thing on
earth and I'm not skinny enough am I
making sense when your life conditions
don't match your blueprint you're gonna
have pain but here's when you suffer
well ask people who here has been
through the dark night of the soul who's
been here in a situation where you feel
like like like life your life isn't
worth living or we feel like a pain that
just will never go away and I'll people
write down those experience
like Joaquin so you'll begin to
understand what the issue is I'm talking
about here while keen if you recall was
in a situation where this man felt like
there was no reason to live he couldn't
work he couldn't do anything his life
was worthless why did he think that
because he had a blueprint and his
blueprint said I need to be an NBA
basketball player or at least a
professional basketball player I need to
be able to make money and have this
great lifestyle because that's what
makes me worthwhile as a human being
that's what makes my family respect me
my mother my uncle's my aunts I am the
successful one in the family and I make
the money I support everybody he's a
good man he didn't come just to be
successful he took care of his mother
his families he tried to be an
inspiration for people walking orchids
as a man I was always going out on his
free time and training kids and showing
them the pathway to freedom how they
could play basketball and get free like
he did and get out of the inner city so
this man is not a selfish man but he
knew this is the way to be worthwhile
this is the way to be able to give to
people this is the way to take care of
your family and all of a sudden one
night what happened that way was taken
from him he has a stroke and another
night his life conditions make it
impossible to be who he has to be or he
feels like he's worthless
you get it we have an identity we have a
story of how we're supposed to be and if
life somehow gets in the way of that
story we feel pain but if we feel we
have no control that's when we go into
suffering see it's one thing to say my
life doesn't match my blueprint I got to
lose weight that might stress you out or
my life doesn't match my blueprint I'm
not in a relationship I got to get in
one that might motivate you even you
might not like it but you're gonna find
a way to get on with or my career
doesn't match how I should be you could
change it but when you start believing
that your life doesn't match your
blueprint and you have no control to
change it you're helpless that's when
people suffer and so this week for your
breakthrough it's a chance for you to
start to take a look at your blueprint
anywhere you're really having pain hey
look if you're doing great in some
area of your life celebrate of course
and I'm sure there are many areas you
are but life is really a series of
growth spurts I mean two things in life
make you feel alive growing and giving
and what's really wonderful about this
man Joaquin is he was constantly growing
trying to get better trying to be a
better team made a better basketball
player think about it when he didn't
make the teams and didn't make the NBA
he didn't give up he worked even harder
the guy was always striving striving to
become something and he became it and he
achieved it and then life took it from
him
isn't that the common denominator was so
many of the people and the stories of
this six-part series that you saw these
six specials I mean Frank and Kristen
had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we're supposed to
get married to have children and we're
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn't match the blueprint
and suddenly there's depression because
in their case they said there's nothing
we could do but they were wrong they
were wrong because they discovered that
Frank discovered I can make a difference
in my wife the chair even though I
didn't create this and then ask for this
chair does not define me I can become
more than I was before I can have the
impact on my life I can have children we
had to change his blueprint because we
couldn't change all the conditions of
his life does that make sense I couldn't
get him to physically walk again maybe
someday he will but we can't count on
that well we gotta count on is that he
can be fulfilled by seeing he isn't
helpless and I did that to a series of
experiences that violated what he
thought he couldn't do the same thing
was true with almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin's example it was also true
our Keane said well I I can't ever have
this equality of life again because I'm
not a professional basketball player and
he was locked into that mindset and all
of us get locked at times but to his
credit to a system of steps we were able
to break him out of that we would get
him to see that he isn't helpless
because here's your choice watch this
now if you're suffering if you're in
pain your life doesn't match how you
think it should be and you think you're
helpless to change it now you have only
three choices choice one blame something
and that's what Joaquin did if you
recall he blamed his coach he blamed
what happened to him and of course these
things were outside his control but he
blamed his coach and a big part of the
healing if you watch this session was
bringing his coach in and getting him to
see how do you know what all that anger
all that resentment inside of you Akeem
a it's not based on the truth and be
like Nelson Mandela said you know having
resentment in your soul is like drinking
poison and hoping that your enemy will
die it doesn't work that way
but when Joaquin was able to break out
his breakthrough was a change in
perception to realize this coach wasn't
stopping me I just felt like I lost
everything and so I don't know how to
change it so I'm looking for something
to be mad about someone to blame so so I
don't have to blame myself or I don't
have to feel so helpless because when
you're angry you don't feel so helpless
you feel strong for the moment even
though it's a fake strength when he was
able to make that breakthrough he could
stop blaming because these are three
choices when life doesn't match how you
think it should be blame something an
event someone else or yourself as we
talked about earlier in the series blame
games just destroy you there's no
progress when you blame for the moment
you feel okay but nothing changes what
are your real choices you only have two
choices in life if life doesn't match
your blueprint you either have to change
your life that is you kind of say you
know what my body isn't there I'm gonna
go work out my relationship is in there
I'm gonna change it you know I'm not
making one I gotta make I'm gonna retool
I'm gonna get a new skill I'm gonna go
back to school I'm gonna start a
business I'm gonna do something you have
to do something to change your life or
in order for you to be happy if you
can't change your life you're gonna have
to change your blueprint usually in life
it requires a little bit of each does
that make sense and if you've changed
your take change your life and change
your blueprint you can have an
extraordinary life and what you
witnessed this man do was once he let go
of his anger and his denial once he
started to look at things he began to
find by spending time with his family
that he was worthwhile being loved while
he played basketball amount of course
vegetable basketball is no longer a part
of it and we had to get Joaquin to shift
that and Joaquin is a metaphor for all
of us because all of us are gonna have
times in our life we
what we want or think life should be
like isn't gonna match how life really
is those moments if we blame our life
goes into pain if we change we can
change our life and match our blueprint
but we have to also know when it's not
within our control and that's how we're
able to make a shift and change what our
story is for our life what our
expectations are not by lowering them
but by changing what that model really
is helping this make sense to you I'll
give you a great example
years ago I I do a lot of work with
business people celebrities people of
all kinds of walks of life and I was
dealing with a group of people and they
knew a very very powerful celebrity and
without to give that person privacy I
won't tell you too many details we can't
figure out exactly who it is but it
would be a person who was very
successful as a woman who was extremely
attracted by cultural standards a woman
who's had a lot of dear friends a lot of
deep respect so great skill great
ability extremely talented quite
attractive quite wealthy in financial
terms and lots of great friends this
would be for most people's idea the
ultimate blueprint if your life matches
that description you must have an
incredible life but ironically this
particular individuals famous as they
were was depressed all the time they had
seemingly everything and yet the person
was depressed how do you get depressed
when you're smart and you're strong and
you're beautiful and you got great
friends and you're rich and you're
famous well it's real simple people said
it I don't know what it is everyone's
tried to help her she's been on the
through counselling she's got all these
different drugs nothing's working she's
thinking Hannah depressants and she's
still depressed which is not uncommon by
the way because if you change the way
you feel physically but you still see
your life doesn't match how you think it
should be at some level and you feel
like you're helpless to change it you're
gonna be
breasts so I said bring her to me I said
I can help her I know that sounds like
hyperbole but I absolutely can help her
well how do you know that Tony because I
already know what the problem is
I know if someone's depressed it's
because they feel helpless because their
life doesn't match how they think it
should be I just didn't know what her
blueprint is but we'll find out what it
is and we'll either help her change her
life or help her change your blueprint
or both
long story short very quickly I'll tell
you the core of it which came to me and
she spent maybe the first half an hour
telling me apologizing saying I know I
should be happier I know it's silly for
me to be depressed I don't know why I'm
so depressed I I know I should be
grateful for what I have and I am
grateful and it was all these reasons
why she knows she should feel good but
still didn't I try to finally explain to
her listen I don't care about that I
care about you the fact that you're not
happy has nothing to do with what you
have or don't have the fact that you're
not happy is that your life doesn't
match the way you think it should be you
have some idea of how you think it
should be and worse if you're this
depressed that for all this time you
feel like you can't do anything you have
no power to change it you feel helpless
but you look to be in a certain way and
I said so what is that what did you want
your life to be like she goes well that
sounds stupid
I said why it sounds stupid to me she
said well I don't know I just always
since I was a little girl dreamed that I
would be married and I have three
basically perfect children and they
would love me totally and my love my
husband he loved me and I said okay so
how's that working for you so far and
she said well I think you know he's
pretty famous person he said I'm the
worst twice I have no children
and now X age and to give you a clue
that age would be an age where having a
child your own natural child at least
barring a medical miracle is not going
to happen so I said to her well why
don't you just adopt no no no no no
that's not it
so what I had to dig under is whenever
we talked one of the earlier sessions
about there's the surface problem and
then there's the deeper desire or need
so I said to her I said well what if you
couldn't have the husband but you could
have the kids and she smiled she said I
take that I said well why not adopt a
kid she goes now it has to be my own
blood children so I kept digging to find
out what was behind her blueprint
because your blueprint is just a
projection of what you think you need to
be happy but as human beings were
notoriously ineffective at knowing
that's gonna make us happy so much what
we think we're gonna make us happy we
get there we go as this and all there is
so many things that we think are gonna
make us miserable and we can never deal
with we go through it we can handle it
we're not good at projecting these
things all kinds of studies will show
this so I said to her well what what do
you hoping to get from these three
children why do they have to be your
blood children and she funny said well
if they're my blood children I know
they'll always love me they'll never
leave me what was she looking for
unconditional love she had this big
blueprint that said white house pick
advance three children perfect husband
you know all these different things but
what was behind that was a need and need
to feel like she did have love that
would be certain and wouldn't go away so
I can help her meet that need so I said
to her I said well maybe one reason you
don't have a husband is because every
time you look at one you're trying to
figure out if he's gonna get you those
three kids in time and how that's gonna
happen and maybe he feels a little
stressed when you slow you're looking at
in this way because he can feel what's
going on behind your bed even if he
doesn't know what the words are and she
started to laugh because I guess I've
probably been that way a good portion of
my life and she goes people wonder you
know why I'm so uptight
I said you're uptight because you were
felt like you're running out of time
trying to meet some picture but I said
all you really want is love
I said don't channel I love you I tell
me about your friends and gradually
I got her to start seeing this love that
she was trying to get was already here
it didn't match the picture maybe maybe
we could paint a new picture of what
life could really be like and make sure
that picture met her deepest needs
that's basically we did Joaquin Joaquin
wanted to be a professional basketball
player because he loved basketball yes
but also because he wanted to be that
man who was a leader he wanted to be a
man who was the good man he want to be
the one who brought energy to people he
want to be the man people would look up
to he want to be the man who could take
care of his family and style all of his
family not just his daughters and his
wife but other people as well underneath
it all he wanted to know that he
mattered and through the process that
you saw in this show he began to find
out that he didn't need to be angry at
the world that yes his blueprint was
taken from him but his soul and his
ability to be a special human being that
could touch other people was not taken
from him that may be his real gift was
his ability to inspire young kids his
ability to get himself to do whatever it
took how do you become a professional
basketball player
unbelievable discipline unbelievable
Drive he started bringing that to
picking up trash and the game started to
change he stood out but Mary could come
home and take care of his kids and pay
his bills that doesn't solve everything
but it gives him a way to suddenly
regain himself when he sat around with
all of his family and you saw part of
those scenes and if you watch little
areas of browsing this week you'll see
some more scenes from his family where
you see him begin you realize they love
me whether I'm rich or poor they love me
I'm a professional basketball player or
not they love me that's what he was
really after and when he got that it
allowed him to let go and say I can do
other things that doesn't mean he won't
have challenges we're all gonna have
challenges in our life he him it doesn't
mean that at times he won't wish he's
doing more but he's no longer stuck he's
broken through because he now knows I
have control I can change my life or I
can change my blueprint and when I do I
can fulfill it I can start to feel that
aliveness now here's the trap what do
you think happens once you fulfill your
blueprint regularly once you figure out
how to do what you always dreamed of you
always dream to live a certain way and
now you live in that way live in that
way live in that way every day well the
human nervous system human spirit needs
to grow so pretty soon you'll get bored
with that and you
come up with a new blueprint that's part
of the part of life that's exciting
see if you and I are from this day
forward are gonna be happy just remember
we've said it takes two things grow and
give a meaningful life comes from
growing that sense of progress and it
comes from having life not just be about
me but about we doing something that
makes me feel connected to other people
besides myself that growth that sense of
contribution fills a deep spiritual need
that we all have if you are unhappy in
your life you got three choices really
to blame that's not a choice it's not
gonna work don't blame someone else
don't blame you that don't blame
yourself just figure out what you're
gonna do to change your life that's my
specialty if you like my coaching or my
team's coaching come visit with us come
to an event come get a coach come to a
program or we'll guide you through it
more than just a few minutes like this
and we'll do it directly an environment
that will shift you or change your
blueprint you're gonna have to rewire
what's going on inside and that's what
we focus on as well so I hope this
journey has been an interesting one for
you I hope it's opened up your eyes to
what it takes to go from where you are
to where you want to be it takes
changing your emotional pattern to
change bringing presence to your life
it takes realizing you have no problems
compared to somebody else and putting
your life in perspective it takes the
ability to deal with those extreme
stresses that happen in your life by
questioning your limiting beliefs and
again if we'd love to coach you and show
you how to change those in a permanent
way where it happens automatically just
like lifting weights so off until the
muscle is always there and you find
yourself able to follow through it takes
for you to be able to figure how to deal
with crisis and how to turn it around it
takes facing your fear it takes pushing
yourself through what used to stop you
it takes putting yourself in a position
where you connect to what's more
important than just yourself what you
value than just yourself and it takes I
think in this case also the ability to
realize that no matter what happens to
you you're more than that moment you're
more than the story you think you're
supposed to be and that even when you're
not matching what you think you need to
be maybe there's a reason for that maybe
you're having to find a different part
of yourself that's going to fulfill you
at a much deeper level sometimes failing
to get your gold
you your destiny I can't tell you how
many people I've known of the years who
have an idea of what they thought their
life was supposed to be like and they
didn't achieve it they felt miserable
and upset and frustrated and one day an
opening happened and they went oh my god
thank God that didn't happen
I think it's Garth Brooks had a great
song and it's a song about when he was
in high school and he was in love with
this girl infatuated with her
and she didn't even know that he existed
and he prayed to God every day that she
would notice him that she would fall in
love with him and then sure enough she
never did he was so disappointed his
blueprint didn't match his life didn't
match it because she didn't even know he
existed and he felt this suffering he
could do nothing to turn it around well
15 years later he became a guy named
Garth Brooks somebody everybody knew and
he could rock you know stadiums with his
energy and a song and his music and he
goes back to being this high school
reunion it was his 15 year even if I
remember correctly I don't remember the
exact year but all I remember is he said
he saw that woman that he was so
obsessed by I was looking forward to
seeing her and now he was Garth Brooks
and he met her and after he met her and
spent some time with her he wrote a song
called thank God for unanswered prayers
sometimes not getting your blueprints
the best thing that ever happened
because the disappointment drives you to
find something more important inside of
you or not getting it makes you look for
another aspect of your life a spiritual
aspect of a family aspect a physical
aspect if you can just trust that life
doesn't happen to you
it happens for you then you can find in
any situation a benefit that can take
your life to the next level I don't care
if you're Frank and Kristen I don't care
if you're you know Mandy and Scott I
don't care if you're Joaquin and Kim
every one of us in our life is gonna
feed faced situations where it feels
like we have total trauma something
that's been taken from us the real
question is what are you gonna do with
it some people just live in the story of
what they don't have and they have the
right to do that
if Frank and Kristen lived in pain and
felt bad we'd all say they have the
right to do it
it's the difference doing what you have
the right to do and what you deserve to
give yourself and others
we have the ability to transcend
whatever happens to us there's something
called post-traumatic growth very few
people know about it - people go through
the same stress ones destroyed the other
grows what's the difference the people
that grow will not give up they don't
have any excuses they find the way to
break through whatever it takes and when
they do three things happen number one
they realize who they really are and
what they're capable of they realize
there's so much stronger than they
thought they were and number two they
deepen all their relationships you want
to know who really cares about you who
you love and who loves you go through
some tragedy go through some hard times
all your Facebook friends go away your
real friends your real family shows up
for you and you show up for them and it
deepens your relationships and the third
thing happens if you can push yourself
through and break through whatever
challenges life gives you is each time
you have a breakthrough you get stronger
and it almost like builds a
psychological immunity in you where
suddenly all of a sudden it's like stuff
happens you know stuffs gonna happen and
you're not scared of it anymore cuz
after you've been through a stroke after
you've been through you know losing the
use of some of your body or senses after
you lose a family member and you break
through to that you get to the other
side it's like give me your best shot
life it's almost like there's this
psychological immunity that says I'm
ready for whatever life will give me I
don't want challenges but if they're
here I know I can handle them that
strength of spirit is what creates a
sense of freedom and joy in life and
that strength of spirit basically comes
from living a life where you are
constantly and never ending the new way
to improve yourself and to help others
that's my mission and if we can serve
you again in the future I hope they'll
check us out there's three ways you can
continue to participate with us you can
come to an event come have an experience
with us live in a weekend and our
unleash the power within or our date
with destinies and you can find it's
very different than just sitting here
talking to you quietly sitting in front
of your computer screen it's a
rock-and-roll environment it's like
going to the ballpark and having one
person sitting there talking to you
versus being in the ballpark or the rock
and roll concert you know with
mm there's an energy and a power that
comes from its second is there's
immersion here we talked for an hour
there's distractions and emails there
it's total focus and we go for immersion
we're literally what we did here over
six weeks few little conversations all
that happens over and over again
multiple times a day and you get that
shift so come tune to that or call up
and get a coach we have people that you
can work with and have a free coaching
session to make sure it's really
valuable for you but these are people
that can check in with you to help make
sure you break through you make the
changes you want to make and your career
your finances your body your your
emotions or whatever area matters to you
and finally lastly and probably most
importantly every day you got to feed
your mind because every day most of us
are turning on you know some form of
news it shows up in our pocket and our
blackberries or I you know iPods or
iPhones I should say it shows up you
know on your computer constantly it
chases us in it rarely does a good idea
interrupt you really what you have to do
is pursue the ideas pursue the
experiences they're gonna change your
life
and we have a way to do it called net
time no extra time a way where you can
keep feeding your mind the stuff that
really matters with some products or
services so if you're interested in any
of those things be sure to click on your
interest of an event or interest in
having a free coaching session or maybe
try one of our audio programs because
the other challenge here is with video
got to sit here potentially a watch made
but with audio you can do it while
you're working out you can do it while
you're cleaning the house you can do it
while you're driving in the car are you
getting to work we'd love to continue
serving you in any way we can I know
I've gone long in this session but I
really want you to think about how can I
get my life the way I want it to be the
way I do it is I figure out what my
blueprint is and I update it for what
life is I changed my life
match my blueprint and suddenly my life
feels full and a lot thank you for the
time that we spent together here I've
really enjoyed our time and I hope that
this break do series remind you to never
settle for less than you can be never
settle for less than you can give or you
can share live strong live with passion
and god bless
you
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