Previously on "Billions"...
When did it become a crime to succeed in this country?
[Bobby] Everyone has access to the information.
We just know how to analyze it better.
Suspect trading pattern on Pepsum Pharmaceuticals.
They had inside information.
You must get pings like that every day.
It's bigger than that.
[Spyros] All three firms have links to Bobby Axelrod.
This would be a big one.
But a good matador doesn't try to kill a fresh bull.
You wait until he's been stuck a few times.
Why aren't you prosecuting the investment banks
and hedge funds for insider trading?
[amplified voice] Go ask the 81 convicted felons
of financial crimes currently serving time.
But you have a very specific conflict of interest
right in your own home.
Your value to the firm is absolute.
I've been working there since before we were married
and long before you were in office.
I work for the public good.
No, you work for the good of Chuck Rhoades.
Maybe sometimes they intersect.
You know the Norton place out at the beach?
[Sacker] I just heard
Bobby Axelrod is trying to buy it.
-[Bryan] How much? -[Sacker] 83 million.
People hate guys who buy things like that.
[Hall] You said there was only one thing you were afraid of --
guys in windbreakers walking in your office
saying, "Step away from the computer."
And you told me you'd make sure it wouldn't happen.
So let me make sure.
-[Bobby] Steven Birch? -[Hall] It's either him or you.
-Piedmont Capital. -Yeah.
That swap deal he did on Arcadian Railroad --
Do an autopsy on the deal,
you'll find yourself a Pulitzer in the carcass.
♪♪♪
Front fricking page of the Post.
[Bryan] It's like he's daring you.
[Hall] There's movement.
It's likely they've opened a case file on you.
You know what?
I'm ready.
♪ theme music ♪
[Nick Waterhouse's "High Tiding" playing]
No, Pete, the gold standard is never coming back.
And if it did, this world would be so screwed,
I'd buy space travel, not gold. Nice pitch, though.
If I'd have known it was a gold play,
I'd have never put him through.
Always put that lunatic through.
One out of every 200 ideas he has is freaking brilliant.
[knocks] -I got this.
♪♪♪
Bad idea.
"No man is a hero to his valet."
That goes double for his COO,
so you are stuck with me either way.
[scoffs]
[Wags] Let's take a car to the city instead of flying.
What's underneath this?
Look, if the U.S. Attorney is really coming,
maybe it's better if we don't make you more of a target.
And more important, Garth Sykes from Flagship.
Hated seeing you on the cover of the Post
with that goshdarn oceanfront mansion.
Teachers in that pension fund make 40 grand a year.
People who have it spend it.
People who don't have it like billies better
who spend on other folks -- charity, good works.
I do, I have, and you know it.
Today, they only remember the house.
I have a feeling there'll be another one of us
on the front pages soon enough,
and they'll forget about that.
But if Flagship does try and withdraw...
We can't let 'em.
If Flagship pulls its 1.5 billion, it gets public.
Other institutions go, too.
Whole thing could domino.
Get with Sykes, keep 'em onboard.
That's just why I'm telling you
to keep it a little more low-key.
Who's more low-key than me?
[helicopter blades whirring]
♪ Not that it's wrong, that it needs righting ♪
♪♪♪
♪ Just all alone ♪
♪ I've been high tiding ♪
♪♪♪
-So... [chopsticks clatter]
-The key to bagging Axe is... [plate rustles]
-Pete Decker. -Oh.
His fund. Has to be.
We start with Decker
since he had the longest tenure at Axe Capital
of anyone who left with Axe's backing.
Get me some more of those cold sesame noodles, would you?
[mouth full] No, these are -- these are dandan noodles.
[Chuck] Same frickin' thing.
No. No, one's Szechuan, the other Taiwanese.
It's a whole thing.
You know, this is why I don't mind the hours.
I'm always learning something on the job. It's incredible.
Yeah, tell him about General Tso's, Bryan.
Oh, no, he flings this crap at you, too?
-Sprays it all around. [papers rustle]
The only place you've ever been is Asia,
you can't help yourself. [chair thuds]
[Sacker] Here -- indictments on that Ponzi thing.
Tell me about the General, Bryan. Come on.
[Sacker] Well, now you've done it.
[laughs, inhales deeply, chews]
General Tso -- he was a statesman in the Qing Dynasty.
Suppressed a revolution.
Oh, and now he has the true glory.
A fried chicken dish named for him the world over, huh?
That was created in America.
Maybe after we nail Axe, they'll reciprocate --
name a dish after you in China, huh?
-Oh-ho. General Chuck's? -[Sacker laughs]
Really, what would that -- what would that look like,
a burger with the cheese cooked on the inside?
[laughter]
You really think I could ever be that richly honored?
Hey, I will make it so.
Not if we're still stuck. We need to find a way
-...to get Pete Decker... [glasses clatter]
...on the hook, right?
No, Decker hires young, and he pays at the top of the range.
Now, once these guys get a taste for that kind of money,
they get -- they get desperate to keep it going.
Start tracking all of his analysts and traders.
Next one makes a mistake, we're right there.
[camera shutters clicking]
♪ mid-tempo music ♪
[inhaling]
[horns honking in distance]
Nice move.
Just like smoking in the girls' bathroom at St. Mary's.
You had to be quick, or you'd be over a nun's knee.
That's a fun picture to have in my head.
Mm. Yeah. They weren't that kind of nun.
They looked like Dick Cheney.
[Bobby] Look at that.
[indistinct conversations]
That is such a crappy name on such a great building.
[camera shutters clicking]
Oh, don't. Don't focus on that.
Think of all the good that's going on here tonight.
Can't. It mars everything.
The name up there should mean something.
Should add -- add to the luster of the place.
Just don't look.
I like the building.
[indistinct conversations]
How much?
[brakes squeal]
Good question.
They're about to pass the hat.
♪♪♪
[indistinct conversations]
♪♪♪
-Bobby! -Birchy!
[imitates explosion] Blow it up.
♪♪♪
[moaning]
You're making me weak.
Time to power up.
♪♪♪
[moans, kiss]
[cellphone rings] -[kiss] Ohh.
-It's work. -[sighs and sniffles]
[ring] -It's my work ring.
[vibrates]
[Kornbluth] It's Kornbluth.
Thought you left white-collar crime to cover the election.
That's true,
but I stumbled onto one too good to give someone else.
[lowered voice] Get to it.
What do you know
about Steven Birch and Arcadian Railroad?
What? What do you have?
[Kornbluth] Birch made a big play in the railroad --
captured 43% before good numbers,
and expansion plans were announced
-...with inside information. [clatter]
[beep] -We want to know
where the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District
-...stands on an investigation. -[sniffles]
I'm posting this on the web in five minutes.
It's already on the desk. It'd be better
with a comment from you... but I can't wait.
It's late. That might not be enough time to get a comment.
[Kornbluth] I'm posting it.
We can't get beat on this story.
You can't run it without a motherfreaking quote.
[line disconnects]
-[under breath] Oh, God. [touchscreen clicking]
[telephone rings]
Tara Mohr?
[beep] -Yeah, you're on speaker.
Financial Journal called for comment on Steven Birch.
What about him?
They're running a story
that he made illegal trades on Arcadian Railroad
and that the evidence is incontrovertible.
Stall while we check.
Oh, but this sounds like bullcrap.
I mean, how could the paper have that
before we do -- or the FBI?
You know, I went to school with a few guys who work for Birch.
-You want me to -- -[Chuck] Yes, right now.
Get Terri McCue over at FBI up on this, too -- now.
[Bryan] Right.
[jazz music playing over speakers]
[indistinct conversations]
I'm not tolling any bells for you, Bobby.
Sounds a bit like you are.
There's a reason you retained my firm.
Ah, forget the firm -- a bunch of rich, young lawyers.
There's a reason you retained me -- me.
And that is...
I look far enough down the road
to let you avoid the speed traps.
Okay.
What do you see?
U.S. Attorney needs to bag you.
Rhoades could bring it quick or take two years.
Two years?
Then it becomes a three-front war --
PR, redemptions, and the government.
It's not too early to start a makeover of the firm's culture.
What freaking culture?
Big returns that beat the street by double digits
year in, year out, making our investors rich?
-That culture? -No -- the rep.
Smart money -- maybe a little too smart.
If they bring an action,
the whole strategy becomes about leveraging a settlement --
a deferred prosecution agreement and forfeiture
that lets you keep working.
And the best way to get that
is to act like you'd never settle.
I'd never settle.
That's the public posture, for sure.
I'd never settle.
Yeah. That's a good delivery. That'll work.
[applause]
-[Penn] Thank you! Good evening! -I'm gonna go find my table.
[Penn] Thank you. How you doing?
My name is Penn Jillette of Penn and Teller,
and we're gonna give as much money as we can.
[flame whooshes] -I will hurt myself,
then you will hurt yourself with money.
-Gonna look like this. [click]
[cheers and applause]
[whistling, applause continues]
Think about how much that hurts
and think about how good you would feel
if you gave a million dollars.
Who's giving a million dollars? Stand up.
-Come on! A million dollars! [applause]
Starting at a stick. Screw it.
[Penn] One million dollars!
[lowered voice] I'll do it. I'll do it.
[applause continues]
Oh! You're a good man!
No better than you.
[applause continues]
[Penn] Wonderful. Wonderful. That's good.
Who are the cheapskates giving a half a million?
Come on! Come on. Half a million up there.
[applause continues]
Get the hell up,
or people will think I'm not paying you enough.
[sighs]
[applause continues, pats back]
[cellphone chimes, vibrates]
[Penn] Can I see 250,000?
I'll get everybody standing up eventually.
They will not let Teller go unless everybody stands up.
How about 250 over here?
Holy crap.
Financial Journal just pasted Birch.
[cellphone chimes, cellphone rustles]
[applause continues]
[Penn] Hundred grand -- stand up.
[applause continues]
♪ tense music ♪
[Penn speaking indistinctly]
[applause continues]
[Penn] Anybody else?
Anybody making 50,000? How about 25,000?
He's gonna want that million back.
[applause continues]
[lowered voice] We need to go.
[Penn] Everybody should be standing up at this point!
[applause continues]
♪♪♪
[birds chirping]
[footsteps]
Hey. You need a minute before we --
For what?
Pump-up sesh for the morning meeting,
like every week.
Not happening.
Oh, what the heck, Wend? I count on it.
It's how I get in there and deal with those animals.
Canceled until further notice.
You don't need it, not anymore.
You're the best PM on the floor.
-You know it. [thud]
They're freaking sure of it.
Those animals are used to you putting them down now.
Hardly even whimper as it happens.
Our sesh, while fun, is a waste of your time.
And mine. Go get 'em!
Frickin' A.
[footsteps]
[laughs] You just did it, didn't you?
[chair rattles]
[birds chirping]
All right. 3 feet apart, all right?
Tres, all right?
-And mucha agua en la mañana. [pats palms]
Can you tell him no food and lots of water in the morning?
-He knows. -Does he? Yeah?
'Cause I don't feel like I'm getting much back from him.
I know you get it.
You know Lu wants to do zucchini flowers on special
now that the frost is gone,
so let's be ready when they come in.
-You got it, boss. [palms slap]
[Wags] All right, ladies and gentlemen.
We are up 32% year-to-date,
and we are open to all moneymaking ideas.
Longs, shorts, sells, covers --
all Alpha welcome.
The choppy waters out there are perfect...for us.
For the average investor, hell, no.
But never forget -- what's bad for him is good for us.
If -- If we're as smart as we think we are.
If not, the heat'll melt us like an Almond Joy in the sun.
[laughter]
So, are you smart enough?
Some of us freakin' are.
[laughter]
How about you, Pouch?
How am I supposed to answer that?
You already have.
-[woman] Yeah. -Sadly.
What happened on Eureka Trans-ship?
You knew they were gonna whiff their numbers.
Why didn't you bang the short harder?
You left five freaking percent on the table.
I thought they were gonna whiff, but I didn't know.
You are such a wussy on the short side.
[laughter]
Go home and get your freakin' shinebox.
-Insulted him a little bit. -Yeah, a little bit.
Axe, you saw my position. You could have upped him.
That's what I'm paying you for.
You see an opportunity like that again, you saddle it
like it's a horse's back and you're Catherine the Great.
[laughter] -[man] Yeah, baby.
[Bobby] Okay, okay.
Saldana, why are we still tied up in those hospitals?
Baby Boomers.
They're getting old, so they're getting sick.
When the group reports patient volumes,
it's gonna overshoot street expectations.
[Saldana] We're talking 10% move.
That incremental revenue will drop right to the bottom line,
and the stock's gonna pop like a prom queen's panties.
[laughter] -Good freaking answer.
It really is. Gosh damn it.
-Okay, new idea time. -[man clears throat]
Donnie Caan, what do you have for us?
I think Apple still has room to move north.
Really?
Our investors pay us a 3% management fee
and 30% of their profits, and you want me to tell 'em
we're buying some freaking Apple?
Sorry, Axe.
I-I guess I'm just not... seeing the matrix right now.
[Wags] That's a little unsettling, Donnie --
since seeing the matrix is your entire fricking job.
It's kind of like if you were a hurdler,
and instead of jumping over the freaking hurdles --
It's okay, Donnie.
You'll see it again. Hang in.
[Bobby] Okay, guys?
Let's go out there, bring some meat back to camp.
Or some nuts.
Hunt or gather.
[indistinct conversations, footsteps approach]
I'm sorry. I tried to give you the heads-up, but...
♪ tense music ♪
[man] Phones down.
We're SEC Compliance.
I need all portfolio managers and analysts
to return to their desks.
Traders, stay here.
Case officers will meet each pod
and expect full cooperation.
♪♪♪
Better answer their questions. Cooperate.
This group of energy trades --
I'd like you to supply the research behind them.
I was tasked, so I supplied it.
Right, but going through your reports, I see gaps.
Like this Boardwalk Pipeline move -- what supported it?
It was an event-driven strategy.
♪♪♪
Okay, it was based on an unsolicited tip.
The trade was near 100,000 shares.
Close to a two and a half million dollar position
based on a rumor.
It seemed...
solid.
Looking at tele-comm -- this Verizon trade?
It's part of an event-driven macro play.
Bullcrap.
♪♪♪
All right, I got a tip.
And the pharmaceutical trades?
That was phone-a-tip.
Incoming tip. What am I, a freaking schmuck?
Of course I'm gonna listen.
That was a prom-night promise.
And that means...
"Just the tip."
So, this is your entire book and trading history
for the past three months?
That's right.
Wow. Bit of a rough patch, huh?
Seriously?
Gonna need to see your trades for the past 90 days.
Unless you got a Wells notice with my name on it,
you're not gonna see jack spit.
Come on, we can pull it all down from the server anyway,
so you may as well cooperate.
Mm. Good point. Lawyer.
Your boss said you should cooperate.
[gasps] Oh. Lawyer.
Just answer the question.
You answer me one.
How much do you make?
[knock on door]
I'm gonna need access
to your files, paper, and computer.
For what?
I'm authorized to check that all trades comply --
I'm not a trader.
Whatever you call yourself, after I review --
My files are confidential. You're not seeing ;em.
You can call the Attorney General if you want,
and... [inhales deeply] tell her I say "hi" if you do.
We had dinner last month. Otherwise, screw off.
[door slams]
♪ dramatic music ♪
[footsteps]
♪♪♪
[files thud] -Enough. Okay?
-Enough. [claps]
I hope you enjoyed the lifeboat drill this morning.
-[man] Are you kidding me? -[man groans]
We did not do well. In fact, we sank.
If it were a real SEC raid, we would have been screwed.
[under breath] Get the heck out of here. [scoffs]
I crapped my pants for nothing?
I didn't do this for my amusement.
What happened to Steven Birch --
who I am sure will be cleared of any wrongdoing --
It could happen to us. So we need to be prepared.
To that end, say "hello"
to our new and improved Compliance Department.
[Bill] These people work here now?
-That, they do. -[woman] Oh, gosh.
They're here for our support and our protection,
and you will not even be taking a piss
without them close enough to give it a shake.
From here on, we evaluate every move --
not just for the upside, but for its ethical grounding.
We have to be more pure
than the Virgin Mary before her first period.
Man, Wags.
How the hell are we supposed to make any money?
You think this is a joke, Victor?
You, in particular, were flagged.
Flagged?
Your short on that chip maker.
[papers rustle] -Eleva Peripherals.
Netted 38% fresh blubber on that seal hunt.
[Bobby] Rotten carcass -- over the line.
We're lucky the SEC hasn't come calling already.
You're done.
[Bobby] Fired.
Clear out.
Leave your key cards.
♪ tense music ♪
This is bullcrap.
I didn't do anything out-of-bounds --
no more than anyone else.
Did I sign off on that trade? No, I did not.
Don't say anything else.
I trusted you with my name and my capital,
and you screwed me.
[Bobby] You put us all at risk
with your deceitful, illegal moves.
Now get out of here.
♪ suspenseful music ♪
[footsteps depart]
All right, everybody, back at it.
Play hard, play clean.
Be careful out there.
That was a hell of a public spanking.
Make sure our investors know about it.
On it.
I'm gonna make sure Garth Sykes hears about it ASAP.
You're gonna be a god on the street by lunchtime.
I thought I already was one.
-Greater god. -[scoffs]
♪♪♪
Don't touch me!
Or my cellphone.
♪♪♪
[door opens, closes]
[indistinct conversations]
[typing]
[indistinct conversations]
[door closes] -I was going to tell you
about the compliance gag, but you didn't show up
at the charity dinner, and then...
Then...I was half a hallway from your office.
Try again.
Honest? It was an oversight.
No, it wasn't. You don't make 'em.
And that matters.
But what matters more right now is that Victor
is exactly the wrong person to fire that way.
That was spur-of-the-moment.
It was a spur-of-the-moment muck-up.
His entire psychological makeup
sets him up to react very poorly
to public humiliation.
The same things that made him a profit center for you
will make him a difficult adversary
if he's not handled right.
He will stew and obsess
and find a way to exact revenge on you.
Okay. I can see that. Will you fix it?
[inhales sharply]
Go do it, please.
I made a mistake not looping you in.
I admit that.
"Mistake."
-Last chance. [crosses arms]
Okay. [inhales deeply]
It was a red team drill.
I wanted everybody to react as they would naturally.
I left you out on purpose.
And I will make it up to you. Please deal with Victor.
[footsteps depart]
[birds chirping]
Sean Ayles, please. It's Lara Axelrod.
Sean. Hi.
This is the call you've been waiting for.
I wanted to talk to you about making a donation.
[chuckles] I figured you would.
And about naming rights.
[horns honking in distance] -[Sean] And so the names
on these buildings become more than just identifiers.
They become signifiers of a grander age,
when titans of industry understood
that the purpose of their wealth
was to support the performative arts
to improve the quality of life
for all those who live in and visit this city.
Now give me the Gettysburg Address.
[inhales sharply] I'm sorry.
That...sounded rehearsed. Uh...
[clicks teeth] I'm vamping.
[clears throat] I'm in a difficult spot.
No, yeah, I know.
Because what you need to tell me is that the Eads family
owns the naming rights to this building in perpetuity.
But I'm here offering you a hundred million dollars,
which you need to extract somehow
without giving me what I want.
I'm in a difficult spot.
No, yeah, I know.
Also, "performative" does not mean "performance."
Most donors like an air of --
I don't.
There are other naming opportunities on the ground
that would give you the status and sense of permanence
that you need.
Why is this building so important to you?
Here's why it's important to you.
It's the only way you are getting even a dollar out of me.
Now, I happen to have discovered
that the remaining members of the Eads family
are in a financial pinch.
They need to raise cash.
And they will have a hard time
getting a hold of the kind of loan they need
to pay off their other loans.
[inhales sharply] So I want you to tell them
that I will pay them 25 million dollars
to allow me to replace their family name with mine.
Then I will donate the hundred,
and you can begin your renovations.
♪ pulsating music ♪
[chair clatters]
[footsteps scuffle]
Oh.
♪♪♪
There is one condition I'll need you to sign off on.
[door creaks]
[heels clack, door closes]
[keys jingle and clatter
-[gasps] -Don't scream.
Look there.
[bloop] -[moaning]
What the heck? [gasps]
Get out. [exhales sharply] I'm calling the police.
You don't want to do that, Tara.
[moaning continues on TV] -Who the heck are you?
[moaning continues] -Your newest and bestest.
You should stay and listen to me.
[moaning continues] -Or else this goes viral.
You're making me weak.
"You're making me weak."
[scoffs]
We have -- We have training against this.
You think you're gonna freaking blackmail me?
So what? I screw girls, guys. Who cares? Everyone screws.
That thing has no chance to compromise me.
I hope it at least gets you off, man.
[click, bloop]
What gets me off
would disturb you at such a deep level, honey,
you'd be best-served never to think about it again.
[bloop]
Folks in your line care about that kind of thing, though.
And this --
your hair...
which will test positive for cocaine,
can be in Chuck Rhoades' hands within an hour.
You're gonna watch, listen, and report,
and everything's gonna be fine.
♪ tense music ♪
It's a lot to take in.
♪♪♪
We've already gone through all of this crap.
I heard back from my sources.
There's a war room set up at Birch's.
Lawyers, accountants -- the whole thing.
Guys at his shop are prepping their résumés.
Well, if it was just smoke, they'd issue a denial.
Keep working.
Yeah. They're treating this article like it's a warrant.
Somebody wanted to hurt Birch,
and they wanted us on the ass end.
So they leaked it. [sighs]
And I do not like it.
We need the reins back in our hands.
-Understood. [file thuds]
You want me to stay on this Axe/Decker thing?
[Chuck] No. Set that aside.
Until we know at least as much
as this fricking reporter knows,
let's keep the brights on Steven Birch.
All right.
[Chuck] Get me every article
Randy Kornbluth wrote in the past year.
All of Mike Dimonda's articles, too.
We'll start there.
[clank]
[footsteps approach]
[keys jangle] -Mike.
[car door opens]
[car door closes] -Good parlor trick,
knowing my address.
That'll look like a fun intimidation tactic
when I write this up.
Oh. You're not writing this up.
Because that would be a small win,
and you're not in it for small wins.
No, you've come too far. Too young an age for that.
Nah, I'm in it because people deserve to know the truth
-...about power and money and -- -Whoa. Wait a minute.
What are you, Glenn Greenwald all of a sudden? Come on.
[both chuckle]
You know, I've, uh, I've been reading...
Randy Kornbluth lately.
He usually covers state politics.
He hasn't had a hard business story in 18 months,
but all of a sudden,
he hooks into a full-blown crime story...
on Steven Birch.
His article quotes
former federal prosecutor James Robbins,
who says that the connection
between hedge funds and company officials
must be probed.
You know who else likes quoting James Robbins? You.
Seven times in the past six months.
He's a widely respected source with connections --
He's a fricking rent-a-quote.
I know you really wrote the Birch story,
and I think I know why you chose to hide that fact.
If I am such a careerist,
why would I ever hide something that good?
'Cause you thought it would endear you to someone.
What you should have done,
if you were really playing an elevated game,
-...was come to me... [pats shoulder]
...with what you had.
See, if I had something better to give you
in exchange for you holding on to it --
You have never been willing
to play any kind of game with me.
I didn't know you were ready to play in the bigs, man.
Now I do. So, these are the rules.
You tell me who fed you that --
No.
I'm gonna head inside.
Because this conversation has peaked,
and you don't get to tell me the rules.
You're correct.
I'm not gonna write up this ambush.
But I can.
Anytime I want to.
So think about that the next time
you try and bar me from a press conference
or dodge my call.
Have a good night.
[footsteps depart]
[keys jingle]
[door opens, closes]
♪ mid-tempo music ♪
[child shouts playfully]
All right. Thank you.
[children shouting playfully]
Uh...
-You know what? [clicks teeth] [bills rustle]
Here's the 20
for whatever the guy in the blue shirt back there wants.
-[man] I got you. -Okay, thank you.
[Chuck] Okay, guys, let's go. Come on.
Now, you guys remember when we threw Grandpa
a surprise party for his birthday
and we all had to keep the secret?
Yeah.
Okay. Why do we have to keep the secret?
To make Grandpa happy.
Right. So this is like that, okay?
We don't tell anyone about the doughnuts
to make Mommy happy. Okay?
[thud]
[Kroll] Rhoades!
Don't you walk away before you meet my kids.
Mr. Kroll, we are in a public place...
with, uh, as you say, our children.
Uh, why don't you guys go sit on the bench over there, okay?
Take your sister over there.
[bills rustle]
I-I don't need your, um...kindness now.
I-I needed it at sentencing.
♪ tense music ♪
This is Margo and Stevie.
Hello.
I kept them out of school today so we could be together
because I go to prison tomorrow.
How do you live with yourself?
How?
Yeah.
I think long and hard
before any prosecution in my office goes forward.
And I'm proudest of the cases I choose not to prosecute.
But when I go forward, it's full guns.
God, I made one stupid mistake.
And who got hurt?
No one. You could have let it go.
You committed mail fraud.
And you knew that my wife had died...
suddenly...
and that I was desperate and lost.
You read the articles.
You -- You got letters from a hundred people
who vouched for the man that I was and would be again.
I'm what those kids have left.
And they won't have me again for four years.
Have a nice stroll with yours.
And take your 20 dollars
or just...leave it here for the birds to pick at.
♪♪♪
[Kroll] Let's go, kids.
Daddy's done with this asshole.
♪♪♪
[Butch] You wanted to see me?
[keys click] -Hey.
I want to give you a short
that you're not gonna bail on too quick.
Do you know Cross-Co.?
Cross-Co. Trucking. I've been tracking it.
Mid-size firm, has a big distribution contract
with that bakery company YumTime.
Been holding 50.
Fundamentals are solid.
I don't see the short play.
I don't need you to see it. I need you to do it.
We'll get 50 on the tape. We'll size up later.
You got a problem with this?
No.
[chair rattles]
[door handle rattles]
[sighs]
You plug that investor leakage?
I thought I'd done exactly that,
but I haven't been able to get Garth Sykes on the phone.
He bails, it hurts us.
Yeah. I tried. [inhales sharply]
But I think I need you to show face with this guy.
You got this. That's why I have you.
[keyboard clacking]
[birds chirping, water flowing in fountain]
That guy thinks that if you come running over here,
I'm gonna forget he fired me in front of everyone I know?
Who knows what he thinks?
One minute, you're his most trusted advisor,
the next, you're on the outside.
I'm here because...
I think you might make it worse for yourself,
and I don't want to see that.
The money I made him...
He treated me like a lowlife.
And that's a trigger for you.
Everyone laughing at me growing up.
The dyslexia.
Even the teachers.
I sent every one of those pricks
a photo of my first million-dollar bonus check.
That made you feel really good for about 24 hours,
and then you hated yourself
for letting them know they ever got to you.
Kind of.
Sometimes.
This is different.
I know plenty about how Axe Capital works --
the dirty edge...
the proprietary trading techniques.
I know how the secret sauce is made.
Yeah. I'm sure you could put out
a Schott's Miscellany about the place.
Schott's?
It's like a Farmers' Almanac for non-farm stuff.
Then, yeah, I could put out a couple of volumes
of Schott's Miscellany about the place.
You just need to ask yourself one question first --
are you rich enough to never get another job?
[birds chirping]
I did work for that man.
Bribed an oil company CFO for him --
Stop talking.
We're not in session. That's not privileged.
Point is, I got all muddied up for him.
Hard not to rub it on his clean, white shirt now.
[footsteps depart]
Remember Warren Jaffin, the analyst?
Yeah.
Bright guy?
That kid was sharp.
Employable?
Real sharp, yeah.
Then he balked at his bonus one year and got popped.
He got another job right away at a huge bank.
Three million a year, guaranteed.
Only, word got back to Axe
that Warren had badmouthed him in the interview --
said Axe wasn't generous with him.
So Axe called the head of the bank,
asked him to pull the offer that day, which the guy did.
♪♪♪
Can you imagine...
how humiliating that was for Warren?
Probably told his whole family,
all his friends that he was back.
But Axe didn't leave it there.
He called the president or chairman
of every prime broker, bank, and fund in the industry
and had him blackballed.
Put it out over the loudspeaker,
direct from the principal's office --
"If you hire Warren Jaffin, you are my enemy."
[water flowing in fountain]
Do you know what Warren does now?
♪♪♪
He's got a blog.
You've built a real life for yourself, Victor --
a long way from Queens.
[sighs]
If Axe is certain you'll act like a gentleman,
he will make sure to take care of you.
You were the one that always told me
to stand up for myself.
When you can win, yes.
The only way you can win now is by letting it go.
♪♪♪
You know, I have to confess to something.
Okay.
[sighs] You're not gonna like it.
Fire away.
I took the kids for doughnuts.
I know.
Kevin told me.
[footsteps]
Good.
Oh.
You're glad he cracked?
No, I never want them to keep secrets from you.
They're gonna keep them from me their entire teenage years.
They should at least know
that they can always confide in you.
And among your many gifts, that is a great one.
Everyone feels like you're always on their side.
Well, I try to be, or at least...
understand where they're coming from.
That's the wonderful part of your job.
You get to employ your empathy. [sighs]
I have to be a real prick sometimes, you know?
At work.
Yeah.
Sometimes, we all do things we're not proud of at work.
Well, this is different.
When I was in the park with the kids,
there was this guy who... [sighs]
[sputters] Specifics don't matter.
[inhales sharply] What does is,
that every once in a while, there's this thing we say --
"I am never so proud
as when I choose not to prosecute a case."
And that's true... in theory.
But once in a while, I wish that I could just be more...
...human.
♪ pensive music ♪
But I haven't figured out how to do that
and my job at the same time.
You know?
Being 100% good at your job...
...and 100% good...
...if you figure that one out,
let's both quit and write that book.
♪ exotic music ♪
[squishing] -[men groaning in distance]
♪♪♪
[slapping] -[chuckles softly]
It's a luxury to relax every once in a while,
isn't it, Garth?
I remember this place... fondly.
Look, the stability of this firm
has never been in question.
I need to look into Axelrod's eyes, hear him say it.
Yeah, he will.
I just wanted to hear you first.
I may be from Kentucky, but I'm no rube.
I don't bet on long shots
when it comes to investing the pensions of my members.
That's why they trust me with their 5 billion dollars.
I get nervous, I see someone like Axelrod running around
spending his money like he's a goshdarn rap singer.
MC. Like a rap MC.
No, some of 'em sing now. My kids showed me.
Snoop and Kid Rock both.
You're right. You are no rube.
But Bobby Axelrod isn't, either.
We've crushed the S&P seven years running,
which means you have crushed the S&P.
[woman] You turn over now.
[groans]
Everyone beats it -- till they don't.
When I can I see Axe, talk to him about it?
You don't want to rush off now, do you?
[both moan]
♪ tense music ♪
[horns honking in distance]
Here's McCue. She got some stuff on Birch.
You are gonna love my nuts.
Pierre Bernard, longtime CFO of the Arcadian,
gets passed over for CEO,
gets censured internally
for certain financial improprieties.
[Terri sighs]
Press clippings I thought you might want.
And Bernard interviews for a job at Birch
-...shortly before the trades. -[Dale] Mm-hmm.
We have secretaries on both sides confirming the meet.
Birch's trades in Arcadian occur a half-hour afterward.
[Terri] We alerted our counterparts up north.
The railroad has fired Bernard.
The Canadians are considering prosecution.
He's ready to make a statement implicating Birch.
At Quantico, they call a case this straightforward --
Nobody cares.
Of course not. Why would they?
Rookies always bring up Quantico.
[palms hit chair]
Uh, do you need something else?
[Bryan clicks teeth]
Let me know if you need PDF backups of those.
[Bryan] Will do.
He is right, though.
This Birch thing's a dunker.
Dominique all day.
Wilkins!
[indistinct conversations]
[telephone ringing in distance]
[touchscreen clicking]
So, tomorrow morning, when the arrest warrant is issued,
along with the search warrant, we meet near Birch's firm.
-All right? -[Terri] Mm-hmm.
[Bryan] You guys take him, we take his records.
-[man] Hey, quick question. -[Bryan] Alan.
Are we gonna handcuff him?
Yeah, obviously.
[man] And what about the SEC? Should we alert them?
-[Bryan] We already have. -[Terri] Press?
[Bryan] Probably, all right? I mean, those news cameras
just have a way of showing up at the right time, don't they?
[laughter]
[man] So, we're gonna hit 'em full-on, right?
[Bryan] Yeah.
[voice echoing] We'll get local law enforcement
there on the perimeter, but with the lights out.
[laughter]
[conversation continues indistinctly, echoes]
[Bryan] All right, any more questions?
[conversation continues indistinctly, echoes]
Bryan?
[telephone ringing in distance]
Let's put a pin in the arrest.
-Boss? -Get Birch in here.
It's time to settle.
No, no. N-No way.
We -- We have him dead to rights on this trial.
I'm first chair. Then it's jail for this jamoke.
We have him dead to rights, so he'll fold quick,
and then we get back to what we were doing -- Axelrod.
I'm not letting us follow the riderless horse any longer.
Wait. Riderless h--
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
They were smart.
[inhales sharply]
They sent one of their horses off in a different direction
so the posse would have to split up...
get distracted.
But this was no ordinary posse.
Oh, this was a super posse -- the super posse.
Mixed group of superheroes --
a sheriff, a marshal, an Indian.
Native American.
Sure.
And the Cherokee --
man, he could read the depth of the impression
the horse's hooves made on rock.
And when he realized they were chasing a riderless horse...
They got right back on Butch's trail.
I remember now. I watched it with my dad
on one of the Saturdays he showed up.
I didn't root for the super posse.
I rooted for Butch and Sundance.
Of course you did. We all did.
[chuckles]
But that's not who we are anymore.
♪♪♪
[slaps hand]
[telephone ringing in distance]
[light piano music plays, indistinct conversations]
[utensils clacking]
[man] How are you, Bobby?
[indistinct conversations continue]
Hey, Garth. Ken.
[utensil clatters]
[piano continues playing]
I'd call you "Sir Ken" out of respect
for your advanced age and your accomplishments,
but, as much as you'd like it, you were born in Chicago,
and no one born there was ever knighted.
He would like it if we called him "sir."
He is that type.
You are that type, Ken.
And then what would we call you, Axe?
Oh, hell, Kenny, call me whatever the heck you want.
[chair scrapes floor]
-Or better, don't ever call me. [utensil clacks]
You know the reason why you should never call me?
Because you're a poacher, Ken,
and guys like Garth and me, we do not like poachers.
Come drag a deer off my land,
see what the heck happens to you.
Hmm. Well, now that you've joined us, let me ask you --
how you doing?
I'm gonna let you in on something here, Garth.
Hedge fund guys only ask that question
when they know the other guy is running bad,
which he thinks because you are sitting with him.
Oh, we're just catching up.
And you still haven't answered.
[Bobby] It's a "crush the other guy" business.
It's like Highlander -- there can be only one.
[Bobby] I don't blame you, Ken. I'd do the same thing.
But I'm up 32% this year,
which, from what I know of your run-and-hide approach,
is 30 points better than what you are at Vista Verde.
Well, you can call it what you want,
but I call it "careful."
Risk-averse.
When I opened my fund,
I was very aware of the responsibility
that people like Garth put in my hands,
which is why I hedge my investments.
I protect the downside.
I may not be a rock star,
but I'm still plugging away,
all these many years later.
Have fun with your plugger.
Can we step away for a sec?
[footsteps depart]
[sighs]
[clicks teeth] I love talking to you, Axe,
and you made us a sweet ton of money, but...
I need to keep things nice and comfy --
results and optics.
[scoffs] My job's to spot a fund manager
taking his eye off the ball before he strikes out.
That's what my members count on, and --
and they see someone like Kenneth, dry ass that he is,
as...solid...
part of the firmament.
Sometimes that's important.
I hear you.
And I know you hated the headline in the newspaper.
Do what you have to do.
But I hope that in the days to come,
you see me as part of that firmament.
♪♪♪
I think you will.
[door opens]
[door closes]
You've all seen the evidence we've gathered
regarding your railroad trades.
If we prevail at trial --
which we're confident we will --
the federal sentencing guidelines
call for you to serve 11 years.
We understand that you have young children.
Well, maybe they'll be out of college
by the time you're released.
Maybe you can make it to their weddings.
[Bryan] But like we told your lawyers... [clicks teeth]
we're willing to forgo that for a quick plea --
an admission of guilt,
a forfeiture money judgment of 386 million dollars.
[Chuck] As well as the voluntary shuttering of your fund
and conversion of it to a family office.
You'll no longer handle any outside money.
I can get the SEC in here right now to do that
if you don't agree.
So, settlement or trial?
We're prepared to fight this for as long as we --
I...
came here today to take a deal.
I don't want to go to jail.
♪ pensive music ♪
Wise choice, Mr. Birch.
Stay in the light.
You won't be getting a chance like this again.
[door opens]
This doesn't have to be over.
I'm actually relieved we settled.
[door closes]
[touchscreen clicking]
♪♪♪
[cellphone chimes]
[cellphone clatters]
[door handle clacks]
[sighing]
Comfortable?
[inhales deeply]
For the first time all freaking day.
-Well... [File drops]
I have someone coming in here soon,
and they might be a little freaked to see their boss...
[inhales sharply]
I just came by to say "thank you" and "sorry" --
two words I don't say very often.
So it's handled with Victor?
You nailed it -- on every count.
And he got paid.
I used everything I knew about him to make him capitulate.
That's why I asked you to go.
You know why I went?
For you.
You and I...
[footsteps]
We've never let each other down
in all these years. [inhales deeply]
And I wasn't about to start
because you acted like that never happened.
♪ pensive music ♪
Cut me out again...
and I'm gone.
I know.
[cellphone vibrates]
[cellphone chimes]
[cellphone thuds]
I won't.
[car alarm sounding, horn honks in distance]
[door opens]
[shoes clacking]
[door closes]
Ellis Eads.
We are honored to share this privilege with you, Mr. Axelrod.
With you, too, Mrs. Axelrod.
There's no sharing, Ellis. It's Axelrod Hall now.
No. Of course. We understand.
You think you do.
Now, I saw that when I came in here,
you don't remember me, Chad.
I know who you are.
But you don't actually remember.
We've met before.
I caddied at The Spoon when I was a kid.
It was the perfect summer job.
I carried your grandfather's bag
quite a few times.
Your bag, too, Chad,
in the summer after middle school.
How funny that we all end up here.
[Bobby] Now, here's the thing.
A lot of numbers have been thrown around --
A hundred for the naming rights, 25 for your name to come down.
But there is one number that really matters to me -- 16.
[clicks teeth] And we'll see
if you still think it's funny, Chad.
[Bobby] Sixteen dollars is what a caddy got paid for a loop.
Four hours of humping bags, smelling sour cigars,
and watching all of you lie to each other
about your golf scores in the 95-degree heat,
but I was happy for the job.
[Bobby] That 16 bucks --
and I would do two loops a day,
so it was 32 on a Saturday, 32 on a Sunday.
By the end of the weekend, I'd have 64 bucks.
Sixteen weekends,
Memorial to Labor Day, 1,024 dollars.
[Lara] That was his spending money for the entire year.
He'd stretch it out until the next summer.
Pretty much.
[footsteps]
Until...
and you were there for this, Chad --
your grandfather asked me to read a putt on three.
It was a left-to-right leaker, and I told him so.
I'd seen the putt all summer long.
He closed the face, pulled it, missed it by a foot.
You laughed at him.
[Bobby] You made fun of his eyesight.
And he turned to me, and he fired me right there.
Not from the round, but from the club.
Now, I needed that 16 dollars, but he didn't give a cent.
Because he was embarrassed to have missed a putt
in front of his grandson.
Are you saying we are here
because of that ancient business?
That's right! 16.
[check rustles]
Which is why I am presenting you
with a check for 25 million dollars
minus 16,
which leaves you with 9 million.
-[gasps] -That is bullcrap!
[Chad] Ellis, we can't do this.
We will walk out of here if you don't honor the full amount.
No, you won't.
You need this 9 million dollars.
Because none of you -- not one --
has done a single day of work
from the moment your miserable prick of a grandfather
fell facedown in the sand in Palm Beach.
And after reviewing your holdings,
your business interests, your debts,
I know that this check is the only thing
standing between your family and bankruptcy.
So pick it up, put it in your pocket,
and walk outta here.
Or I will.
♪♪♪
♪ bold music ♪
[man] Let's get out of here.
[grunts]
♪♪♪
[door closes] -[Sean] So now the Axelrod name
will be forever affixed to this building for all time.
Or until some guy richer than me
wants it to come down.
[horns honking in distance, vehicles passing]
You really started something.
[saw whirring]
["High Tiding" playing]
♪ Not that it's wrong, that it needs righting ♪
♪♪♪
-♪ Just all alone ♪ [clanking]
♪ I've been high tiding ♪
♪♪♪
♪ Some quick or some slow ♪
♪ Sometimes it drops so low ♪
♪ And I ride as it rises ♪
♪ Concerns capsizing ♪
♪♪♪
[woman] Mm.
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