If you are new, start here!
Especially because I gave you some homework – if you did not take the time to turn
off YouTube, maybe even to turn off your computer, I'm not sure that you are prepared for this
course.
You will not become confident just by doing something as quickly as possible.
You need to invest your time and effort to do it.
If you did – right on!
I'm proud of you!
Because you are taking the first step to improve your life.
Once again – I'm Kallan, and I'm just here to help you become a more confident, successful
and happy person.
If you want to help me, just click like on this video.
That's all you got to do!
If you want more practice, remember the podcast is always available.
You can get your own free audiobook version, or your own actual copy of this book to practice
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Open transcript, you will enjoy the videos so much more.
Alright.
Let's start with chapter two: Mindset and approach.
Like anything in life, the most important thing about small talk is the way you approach
it.
All the strategies, tips, hacks, and conversation starters won't make a difference if you're
stuck in a negative pattern of thinking.
Don't get stuck in a fixed mindset based in fear, self-doubt or irrationality.
What is a fixed mindset?
A fixed mindset means you think that who you are at this moment, is who you have been and
who you will always be.
You may think, "I'm not good at meeting new people, I always say the wrong thing and make
a bad first impression."
Social skills are just not my thing" "I'm happy just staying home, they won't miss me
at the party" But those are all fixed mindset phrases.
You should focus on a growth mindset.
A growth mindset means that you realize and accept that things are constantly changing
in your life all around you, and in your skills and actions.
You may not be the best conversationalist today, but everyone can get some strategies,
like reading this book, practice them and become better over time.
So let's turn those fixed mindset phrases into growth mindset phrases.
I'm not good at meeting new people becomes "I'm getting better at meeting new people"
"I always say the wrong thing and make a bad first impression" becomes "I am learning what
to say around people and improving the first impressions I make" Social skills are just
not my thing" becomes "Social skills are an area of my life I have the capacity and ability
and desire to improve."
"I'm happy just staying home, they won't miss me at the party" becomes "I am discovering
new things about myself by getting out of my comfort zone.
And I may be surprised by how much fun I can have at a party" See how the "I am only this
way" type of thoughts become "I am becoming better and constantly improving and working
on it" thoughts.
So even if you think you're not the most beautiful social butterfly out there, you can remember
that, to use a well-worn metaphor, all butterflies were once caterpillars.
If you believe that you are bad social situations, you have already sabotaged yourself.
Believe that you can get better and you've already taken the first step and possibly
most step.
In the next chapter we'll look at how you can address your nerves and calm them.
So, a lot of good ideas here!
And even more vocabulary, so let's review.
When we talk about self improvement, improving yourself, a hack, especially a life hack,
is something that's supposed to make your life much better – but often times they're
not as good as people say they are.
What are your thoughts about this "fixed mindset" vs "growth mindset"?
Personally, I love the idea of a growth mindset.
You should always be growing and trying to improve yourself.
What do you think?
Tell me in the comments.
An impression is just an idea or feeling or thought you have about something or someone.
So your first impression is your first idea or thought about someone you meet.
A lot of us worry too much about our first impressions, what other people think about
us.
By the way: a mindset is just a way of thinking.
Your comfort zone is what you are comfortable doing.
How you are comfortable behaving, in what types of situations and with what kinds of
people.
To get out of your comfort zone means to try something new, to take a risk.
That's what you're going to do!
You might not believe it yet, but you will!
And I'm going to help you do it, so don't worry!
If something is well-worn, it has been used a lot!
A metaphor is a figure of speech.
It takes an object, a thing or idea, to give a special meaning that is not literal.
Similar to what we do with idiomatic expressions.
So when the author gives us this well-worn metaphor, all butterflies were once caterpillars,
He's saying that these beautiful, majestic butterflies were once these little guys crawling
around on branches.
On trees.
To sabotage something is to destroy or damage something on purpose.
Deliberately.
And that's why having this negative mindset, this negative way of thinking about your growth,
or having the opposite, this fixed mindset.
Is sabotaging any possibility for progress.
You must adopt the growth mindset, or you are sabotaging yourself with negativity.
Do you agree with this?
Let me know what your thoughts are!
We're going to stop here today, and I want to give you some homework again.
This means turning YouTube off, if you can get away from your computer.
You really need to think about these things if you want to make improvement.
I'm going to be here when you're done, so don't worry!
We'll all be waiting for you.
First, I want you to think about the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.
What do these ideas really mean.
And then share your thoughts in the comments.
Next, I want you to give us an example of something you have gotten better at.
Because that is what we are doing here.
Nobody is going to be perfect at making conversation or feeling confident all of the time.
If you want to review, again the podcast is available.
You can get the free audiobook or your own actual physical copy of the book.
Those are all down in the description.
And if you can, spread the love, give this video a like!
Thank you guys so much!
And if you haven't, subscribe and click this bell, so you get the newest videos!
That's it for now – adios.
Ciao!
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