WarioWare's finally back after a nearly 10 year hiatus--and it seems Wario's dead
set on making up for lost time, because WarioWare Gold is the biggest WarioWare yet, lifting
some of the best microgames from across the series history, while piling on some new ones
all of its own, making for a record-breaking 316 microgames in total.
And as is series tradition, WarioWare Gold is all about pushing you through as many of
those microgames as quick as possible, with each one only last a few seconds before you're
onto the next one.
There's little time to react, and even less to rest, as the game pushes you through one
after another at a breakneck pack that that only gets faster--and tougher--the longer
you persist.
The bulk of the action takes place in the so-called Story Mode, in which the minigames
are split between 15 different stages in 3 different categories, each based on the control-style
of one of the first 3 WarioWare games: Mashing Buttons, Twisting the system like a dial,
or exclusively using the touchscreen.
Now I say "so-called" story mode because the "story" is as wonderfully nonsensical
as you'd expect from the series, with most every stage outside of Wario's own, existing
as its own self-contained sequence, including animated bookends.
And these sequences can be truly ridiculous, whether it's engaging in a rap battle to
win back a stolen 3DS, or taking on an entire space armada as an intergalactic taxi.
And in a series' first, these vignettes are fully voiced--and wonderfully so, I might
add, with voice acting that really brings the characters to life in a way they have
never been before.
It infuses WarioWare with an even greater energy that perfectly befits the franchise.
Unfortunately, it does make the more limited "flash" slightly of animation stand out
all the more in contrast.
Now your first time through each character's stage will always conclude with a boss fight,
like driving a car?
Hey, it's WarioWare okay--and once the boss is defeated, you'll unlock the next stage
in that tier.
But you can revisit any stage in an arcade-style endless mode in an effort to set a new High
Score.
Beyond the initial 15 stages, you'll find a final set where every microgame is fair
game--which is especially tricky in WarioWare Gold given the 3--actually, make that 4--different
control schemes.
Yep, on top of Mashing, Twisting, and Touching, the final few stages also introduce a 4th
mechanic: Blowing into the Microphone.
And when mixed together, it can get especially hectic as the game only providing the briefest
of heads-up as to which control scheme to use before the microgame starts--it's frantic,
but fun.
The microgames themselves are as strong as they've ever been, with returning classics
like Body Block, Force Feeding, or Clog It--okay, so maybe they're only as classic as a 5
second long microgame can be, but they're certainly memorable!
And they've all been giving a loving visual makeover to ensure they don't look out of
place alongside the brand new microgames, which are just as inventive and fun.
Even the touchscreen-only microgames from WarioWare Touched, which were among my least
favorite in the series due to how similar they were mechanically, feel like work better
here as part of a more diverse line-up.
The only slight downgrade comes with the microgames returning from WarioWare Twisted, as the 3DS
lacks the fantastic rumble that was built into the original game's cartridge, which
enabled the the system to "click" like a rotary phone as you spun it.
It certainly wasn't essential, but I did miss the tactile feedback.
Now as an experienced WarioWare player, the Story Mode only took me a couple of hours
to finish and didn't put up too much of a challenge until the final few stages.
But even then, the game allows you to pick right up where you left off after a Game Over
as long as you don't mind trading in some of the coins you've earned--which is pretty
convenient on the one hand, but also feels a little bit like cheating since you can essentially
just pay your way through every challenge.
Outside of Story Mode, you'll find some Unlockable challenges that put a slightly
different spin on the microgame gauntlet, whether it's racing against the clock in
WarioWatch, where each victory buys you a little extra time, or breathlessly cycling
between microgames without any prep time in SplitScreen, due to each microgame starting
instantly by alternating 3DS screens between rounds--yeah, the challenges can be pretty
nuts.
Oh, and Sneaky Gamer returns from the the WarioWare spin-off, Game & Wario, and is still
a blast as you try to complete microgames while avoiding being caught by 9-Volt's
mom.
Now as you play through either Story Mode or the Challenges, you'll earn cash that
can be spent on a Toy Capsule machine that unlocks all kinds of random bonuses...of varying
amusement.
Among the standouts are a handful of relatively elaborate minigames--well, elaborate by microgame
standards at least--such as the hilarious Mewtroid and its sequel, Mewtroid 2, where
you play as a cat, blasting aliens to Metroid music--only with the beats replaced with "meows."
Yes, it's as great as it sounds.
You'll also find mini games based on Memorization, Golf, Bowling, and Nintendo's own Game & Watch--along
with, of course, the return of WarioWare staple Pyora!
They're mostly fun in short bursts, even if they don't have a ton of replay value.
Beyond the minigames, the unlockable Studio mode is also a cute diversion, where you can
redub cutscenes using your own voice--for every character.
This a lot of fun, and perhaps the best use of the 3DS's microphone to date.
It's just a shame there's no easy way to share your creations outside of the 3DS,
such as on social media
The problem with these unlockables is that the good stuff is buried within a sea of mediocrity,
consisting of nearly worthless extras like Phone numbers that you can dial in-game for
simple text messages, or extremely short entries on featured Nintendo toys, or like 20 different
alarm clocks--in case you don't have a phone or something.
These trinkets would be cute as a one-time thing, but the 5-10 seconds of amusement they
brought--if that--can't make up for the fact that they kept standing in my way of
the truly fun stuff, like the minigames.
And since each pull costs 600 coins, you'll have to go out of your way to earn enough
cash to unlock them all, whether it's replaying Story Mode, or the Challenge stages, or taking
on some achievement-style Missions for cash rewards.
I'm almost certain a newcomer to the series would find the process less tedious since
the game would be fresh, but as one who's played almost every WarioWare game to date,
the novelty of the Microgame experience isn't quite what it once was.
Whereas I once loved to challenge myself to replaying specific stages for new high scores,
the fact that I've seen this exact structure multiple times before, including the same
gimmicks, and most of the microgames--resulted in me tiring out on the concept far faster
than I would have had it been my first time with the series.
But as one who has seen most of it before, I still liked it.
I certainly enjoyed the stroll down memorylane, but I also didn't feel much of an urge to
go back once I had finished the Story Mode and given the Challenges a few whirls--especially
with the glacial pace of fun unlocks.
Ultimately, WarioWare Gold is a great collection that ended up feeling just a little too familiar--even
if that is the entire point.
But let me be clear, if you haven't played a WarioWare game before, I don't think there's
a better place to start.
This might just be the definitive game in the series, with more microgames and modes
than ever before, along with a fantastic presentation--and I'm reasonably confident I would have Liked-it-a-Lot
as a first-timer.
And with that, thank you you for watching.
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