- What's up, you guys?
I'm Carly. - And I'm Marie.
- And this is the Relation(beep) Show,
where two unqualified self-proclaimed experts
are giving you advice on your real-life problems. (laughs)
- We have no skills.
Today we're talking about discovering your sexuality,
a.k.a., am I gay?
- Have you ever wondered if you're gay?
- Yeah, I was having like, really bad sex with this dude,
and I was like, well, maybe it's not him, it's me.
- Yeah, balls will make you feel that way.
Sexuality is weird, though.
I feel like it's an ever-changing thing,
and it's kind of a question that you always have to face.
I think everybody definitely has a point
where they're like, "What am I?"
- I feel like the people who are the most like,
"No, I'm 100% straight," are the ones that are like,
the most like, curious. - Right, right, right.
- 'Cause it is a spectrum, especially now in 2018.
- It's definitely not something
you need to know immediately and for sure.
Like, you don't need to be like,
"I have to have a label to be a person."
It's like, you could just do whatever makes you happy.
And some people go their whole lives
kind of like, trying to figure it out, and that's okay.
(percussive music)
First question, sometimes I'll see boys
who my immediate thoughts are,
oh, he's really cute, or, I wanna hold him.
But I think girls' boobs and butts are nice,
but whenever I see a vagina, I'm kinda grossed out.
What does that mean?
That's from Sam, and he's 20.
- He thinks vaginas are gross.
- He's grossed out by vaginas,
which, by the way, Sam, thanks.
- Thanks, Sam. - Thanks, Sam.
- Thank you so much.
So he doesn't necessarily wanna bang dudes, or bang women.
- But he also doesn't wanna bang girls.
He said he's indifferent, which means
he needs to figure it out, and you really gotta just--
- He's 20. - You gotta try it.
Yeah, you're 20.
- Just bang a bunch of people, see how you feel at the end.
- Exactly.
The only way you're really gonna ever find out
is if you give it a shot.
- Sam, bang everyone and everything.
- And never say that about vaginas again,
or I'll (beep)ing find ya.
- The four of us will find you.
- The four of us?
- Me, you, your vagina, my vagina.
- My vagina, yeah.
- Almost all of my friends have had sex,
I'm 20, and the only ones who haven't
are totally in a rush to do it.
I think something's wrong with me,
because I just don't really care about it.
For a little bit, I thought I might be gay,
but then I realized I'm not really into girls either.
Ashley, 20.
Ashley, sex is not that good most of the time.
- I mean, you're really not missing anything.
- With men or women. - Yeah, you're fine.
- Like, just chill. - You're fine.
- And then when you meet somebody
that you're like, super attracted to,
or you just like, feel it, then you feel it.
But like, don't just give to someone just 'cause
your friends are like, "Well, we're banging now."
- Right, right.
Don't just lose it because you feel like you have to.
You're not missing out on anything.
- No, you're really not.
- You're missing about 10 seconds.
- And the first time sucks. - First time sucks.
- I feel like you need to explore what your body likes
before you decide who's gonna give it to you.
Because if you don't even know what you want
and who you like-- - You're not gonna enjoy it.
- You're gonna be there like,
"Well, is this how it's supposed to feel like?"
Get you some vibrators with like,
eight different settings. - Right.
- You know, like a zut-zut-zut,
and like a zut zuh-zut-zut zut-zut,
and like a, zuh-zuh, zuh-zuh. - I hate that one.
- [Marie] The SOS?
I hate that one.
- [Marie] Zuh-zuh, zuh-zuh.
- Yeah. (both laugh)
'Cause it's like, heh!
Never mind.
(Marie panting) Yep.
- You're like, oop, oop, tsk. - Heh-eh!
Oh, never mind. (both yelling)
(Marie hums)
- Yeah.
- [Carly] Yep.
- Play with it, play with it.
- I just do the steady stream, but hey girl, that's just me.
Figure out what you like.
Next question, are you ready?
- Uh-huh.
- I was at a party and I had drank a little,
and I had basically made out with this other guy.
I was enjoying it like crazy.
But there is something inside of me
that keeps denying that I'm gay.
At the gym, I sometimes just stare
at the really muscular guys, and I can't stop.
Same!
- Same, same, same
- I do like women too.
I'm so confused, please help.
Henry, 22.
- It feels like Henry just threw that women thing in there
just to throw it in there.
"I like women too!"
But like, this whole long thing about men.
- [Carly] But as friends, yeah.
- Yeah, you don't like us Henry.
It's fine.
- I think he's really mature and knows that he's gay,
but I think he's just in denial about it.
He's having that like, battle within himself,
and I think it's different for everybody,
like, their journey to like, coming out,
but it definitely isn't something that happens overnight.
- I mean, some people know from when they're young
and always know, and everyone around them knows.
But some people like, they grow up
in like, maybe a more conservative house.
If you already know, and there's something inside you,
you're in denial.
You know that you're in denial.
- Yeah, talk to other people about it.
There are a lot of people in your community
that would, I'm sure, love to talk to you about it.
And talk to your closest friend,
and see where to go from there, but--
- Talk to the guys at the gym, okay?
- Yeah, talk to those really muscular guys at the gym.
- "Hey, hey man, do you want me to, you need a spotter?"
(upbeat music)
- So you guys were so brave and sent us your questions,
so now it's our turn to be brave
and spin the wheel of truth. - Hoo!
- Okay, you go first. - And--
- Have you ever walked in on
a friend or family member masturbating?
- Oh, masturbating?
No.
I've been in the room when a friend was having sex, though.
- Okay. - Numerous times.
- A college roommate, I'm assuming.
- No. - Okay, let's talk about it.
- My friend in college, we went to a house party,
and the guy who's house it was,
my friend was hooking up with him.
And I was hooking up, like, cuddling with his cousin,
but we were in the same room. - Of course.
- But we were on the floor and they were on the bed.
- I mean, I think that was a little disrespectful of them.
- Yeah. - They're having sex.
- But they were legit-- - They should be on the floor.
- They were full-blown having sex,
and we were on the ground just like--
- Snuggling. - Yeah.
- [Carly] That nice.
- Just like, "So, what's your favorite color?"
- I walked in on a roommate masturbating once,
this guy that I used to live with,
and I walked into his room and I went,
and I couldn't like, I froze.
Like, I couldn't walk out. - Did he see you?
- And he panicked, yeah, and went (gasps),
and pulled pants up, and then was like,
maybe thought that I didn't see it,
and started talking to me. - Because you wouldn't leave.
- He was like, "What's going on?
"How's your day, you just get back from work?"
I was like, relax with the hands, okay,
'cause I've seen what they've done.
(Marie laughs) Don't put 'em in my face.
Don't wave 'em around. - He was like, "Hey."
- Yeah, he was like, caressing me.
I was like, how 'bout we stop?
- He's like, "Is this a new necklace?"
- Yeah. (both laugh)
I stayed for a few minutes.
I'm kidding.
- Was he doing something weird with it, or he was just--
- No, he was just, which is so weird
to see someone jerking off.
It's like, ugh. - Ugh.
- What is that thing?
Have you ever had a sex dream about the same sex?
You know what, yes, and it was a mermaid.
- A mermaid.
- But as you can imagine, nothing worked.
- [Marie] How does sex with a mermaid--
- Because they have tails.
But is that the same sex as me?
No, because she doesn't even have a vagina.
- You said "she," though.
- Have you ever dated someone who was bisexual?
Yes.
- Really?
- Actually, yes, four different guys.
- Four different guys? - That were gay.
That were gay. - Or bisexual.
- Or just gay. - Gay.
- Yes.
To be fair, three of them weren't out,
and the other one didn't speak any English.
So I didn't know that he was gay.
- But he knew.
- He knew, and he may have tried to tell me.
(Marie laughs) But--
- But you sat on his face. (both laugh)
- Exactly. - When did you find out?
- I found out after we had like, broken up,
and they dated guys.
So I think it might be me.
Okay, so we really, really hope you like this episode.
Here are a few lessons learned.
Number one, if you don't know who you're comfortable
having sex with, just have sex with everybody.
- Oh, everybody. - You wanna have sex with.
- Your professor. (laughs) - Yeah.
- Your friend's dad. - Why not?
- Your friend's mom. - True.
- The guy that bags the groceries at Trader Joe's.
- Been there.
- Explore your body, that's lesson number two.
Play with yourself every day, once a day.
- Number three is, always talk
to the muscular guys at the gym.
That's literally what they're there for.
They wanna talk to you.
Definitely ask, "Oh, can I spot you?"
And they're like, "Hey, you're not strong enough
to spot me," and you're like, "Hey, I wanna date you."
That's a great conversation back and forth
that you could do all on your own.
- Honestly, if they say yes, you can spot them.
Just stand behind them and like,
gently nestle your penis on their forehead.
- Right.
- That's why people go to the gym.
- Thank you guys so much for tuning in.
We hope you really liked this episode.
- I loved it. - I did too.
- Don't forget to comment, rate, and subscribe.
If you have any questions for us for the following episodes,
just leave 'em in the comments.
- Yep.
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