Previously, on Cartoon Hook-ups.
Sounds like you after I dumped your ass.
What the hell?
What the heck is going on between you two?
We broke up.
Not exactly single.
Hey babe, you ready to go?
Who are you?
I'm so sick of all this sexual stuff.
Yeah, who needs it?
What the heck are you doing here?
You guys are the worst!
Excuse me?
Why don't you go to hold hands or something somewhere else?
Whatever. Let's get out of here.
Yeah! Argh!!! Mmm, hmmmn...
Welcome to the no tell...
What the sh*t!?
What's wrong with your face?
Oh, um. I think that's just what I look like.
Wow! Huh huh. I'm sorry. God, you're hideous.
And kinda cute at the same time.
It's confusing and terrible.
Thanks.
Do you have any available rooms?
Hmmm... That's a good question.
Thanks... do you?
I don't know.
Great. Can you find out, please? God!
Um...
Psst! Hey! You're new around here, huh?
Yeah, I guess so.
This isn't an ordinary motel. Uh, uh.
No check-in, no check out.
Just knock ondoors till you find an empty room.
Weird, but ok.
Even if it's not empty
You might find something you like. Heh, heh!
Know what I mean?
Not really.
Remember this. They're always watching.
Who, mother?
No, not your mother. Them.
Oh, gee. Thanks, he said, mansplainingly.
Alright, well, I'm going now.
Oh, great. Thanks I was really wondering what you were going to do next.
Oh, you pervs are good. They may not see you. But I do.
Well, hello there.
Ugh, what do you want?
Oh, it's not what I want, babe. They're requesting us in the comment section.
Oh, come on! Seriously!? You're gonna walk away like that?
[Knocks]
Come in!
Who are you?
Oh, sorry. I think I have the wrong room.
That's okay.
What are you doing?
Just waiting
Winky Dink left us with a cliffhanger months ago.
We're waiting to see who's behind the door.
Oh! There's... there's no one out there
Jimmy Skillz just probably hasn't designed them yet.
He will, though. One Piece is really popular.
Yeah, enough of our fans watched our episode to warrant another cartoon hookup, for sure.
I don't know what any of that is. Great rack, though.
I'm hungry.
This place is great, isn't it?
You look like the type of person that
ruis stuff right when it's getting good.
You can tell that just by looking at me?
Ha Ha Ha!
Idiot.
Yes! Chicks!
We're waiting for chicks.
Finally! And no minibar.
God dammit.
What the sh*t!?
Can I help you?
Wha- what's wrong with you?
Oh, the art and animation got a whole lot better in 2014.
Dammit! Is there not one empty room in this whole place!?
Sterling Archer.
Yes... do we know each other?
Not yet, but I've been expecting you.
Well, that doesn't make any sense, but I'm
not gonna argue with those... With you.
I need your help.
Why don't we deal with that tomorrow?
Let's hop in bed...
pop open that bottle of... sh*t... Wild Spider Gwen...
...and have some fun
You know, it's no Glengoolie Blue, but it'll do.
That can wait. There's a woman at the motel
that has taken something very important from me.
I need you to investigate and find
out what she has against me.
I'm kind of on vacation.
Please, Archer. I will repay you anyway you want.
Fine! I'll do it.
Great. She has braided blonde hair and a long blue dress.
Find out all you can, Archer.
Before I go.
Yes?
The whole repay me anyway I want thing was
sexual innuendo, right? Yes great
Yes.
Great.
I'm pretty sure I scared all the monsters away.
We're safe to sleep here.
Wow! Good job, honey!
That's a Team Four Star reference!
No, it's not Goku!
By the way...
All the clocks in this place are wrong!
It's been 12:58 for the past hour!
Oh it's, uh, daylight savings or something.
It's not daylight savings.
No, I think he's right. That makes sense.
Idiot! Ha ha!
You two is the weirdest horsies I’ve ever seen.
Where’d ugly go?
Umm, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Oh, you have the same voice.
Hello, this is Marlon Brando! Hello
I can't do anything else. I have no latitude.
Yeah, that's convenient.
Do you know where I can get a drink?
My alcoholism is acting up.
Um, there's a bar right through there.
Jesus, when were you gonna tell me!?
My brain says mimosa, but my hearts says
vodka martini?
Hello, blue dress.
Your hair is on fire!
You're not so bad, yourself.
Hey, Peter.
I told you not to call me that in public.
Oh,relax. How have you been?
Great! Amazing even.
Elsa and I have really been hitting it off.
Really.
Yeah, she's innocent and sweet.
Innocent? Maybe we're not thinking of the same person.
Pretty sure there's only one Elsa around here.
Yeah, and she appears to be leaving with
arguably the sluttiest dude at the motel.
Haha. Haha!
[Baby Crying]
Not this again.
Sonic, we need to talk.
Oh, Sonic’s not here.
I think he went on break... or left the country.
When are you going to stop avoiding me?
I’m telling you, Amy, it’s not mine!
Aw, let’s see the little cutie.
I don’t know, Sonic. She has your eyes.
Damn, you look fine ass hell!
Thanks.
It’s so crazy we haven’t met before.
I know, right?
Hey. Hey, babe. Do you have a quarter?
Why do you need a quarter?
There’s a vending machine in the bathroom. I want a candy bar.
I doubt it has candy bars in it.
Why don’t you just go outside and play?
But I really want a candy bar.
Batman! Please.
Can’t you see I’m busy?
...Fine...
Now where were we?
I think you were going to tell me what a pathetic loser I am.
No way! She sucks! How could she do that to you?
I don’t know. Everything was going so well with us.
Why don’t you go up there and stop her?
It’s no use.
Well, let me buy you another drink.
No, thanks. I think I've had enough.
Don’t let his concern fool you.
He’s just trying to get in your pants.
Deadpool, you’re such a dick derailer.
You mean a phallus foiler?
I think you guys mean *Bleep* blocker.
Are you supposed to even be able to talk?
Screw you, dude.
Well, excuuuse me, princess!
And there she is! The love of my life!
Ugh. Do I need to file a restraining order or something?
That sounds dirty! Let me just keep you company.
Actually me and... Spiderboy, right?
Close enough.
...were just about to head to my bedroom.
We were?
Are you serious!?
We’re essentially the same design!
And I’m way more clever!
No, you’re not.
Sure, I am. I’m offering moral support.
You’re welcome.
Oh... Thank you.
When I said you could use our room to take a nap,
I didn’t think you were going to move in!
Hey, I didn’t know either! This motel is severely overbooked.
Well, you can’t stay.
I get it. God!
I’m actually getting worried about Spiderman.
I’m sure he’s fine.
We should look for him.
Fine!
Wait, I have to see something.
Seriously?! Get a life. Ha Ha!
Ha Ha!
Hey. How’s it going?
Hey. Can I help you?
Yeah, I gotta reservation. Uh. Barry Ponds.
Oh, Yeah. You’ll be in room 312.
Hey, bruh, I’ve never done one of these hook ups before.
Do you have any suggestions?
Just say, “What are we doing here?â€
What are we doing here?
Why the hell am I here?
What exactly are we doing here?
Why did you want to meet in such a place?
Wait, Diana? What are you doing here?
So, what the heck are we doing here?
So, why's you wanna meet me here?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Why did you want to meet me here?
Why'd you wanna meet here?
What are you doing here?
What are we doing here?
You really think that’ll work?
Yep.
I'm Batman. I AM Batman.
I'm Batman. There it is. Yeah, there it is.
Hey.
Oh! ...Hey.
What are you doing out here all alone?
Nothin. My girlfriend keeps ignoring me.
Aw, that stinks. I’m sorry.
It’s alright. Hey! You wanna see my comic book collection?
No. No I don’t.
That’s alright. I don’t have any good ones anyway.
Oh. Uh huh.
What do you say we look for crime to fight in there?
That’s a great idea!
Let’s just walk around this damn motel all night.
There you are! We’ve been looking all over for you.
Whatever, Elsa.
Spiderman, what’s wrong?
And there they are! Doing the walk of shame.
What?!
There’s no use hiding it. We all know what you two have been up to.
I’m not sure I do, but I might not have been paying attention.
We know you two slept together.
I feel like I would have remembered that.
We did not!
But I saw you leave the bar together.
And, Mary Jane led me to believe...
They were supposed to sleep together!
No, I was supposed to find out what she had against you,
or something. It’s all a blur at this point.
And that should have led to sex!
What am I? Some kind of whore?!
Oh, that’s just great.
I can’t believe you, MJ.
And I can’t believe you.
I thought we loved each other.
And you don’t even trust me?
Sorry to interrupt.
Spidey, you left your undies in my room.
Oh, my god. I think I’m going to be sick!
Elsa!
So, I guess this means you and I aren’t going to sleep together either, huh?!
Nope.
Just checking!
Oh, Batman. I’m so glad to see you!
Hey! We're busy.
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