-Guys, let's get to the news.
The news is still crazy.
Today, President Trump tweeted that he thinks Russia
is going to interfere in the midterm elections
and that they want the Democrats to win.
Yeah. [ Laughter ]
In response, Putin was like,
"Fake news, is total witch hunt."
[ Laughter and applause ]
"That's fake news."
But Trump has been busy.
Earlier today he gave a speech in Kansas City.
And before he started he had everyone listen to the song
"God bless the USA."
He just played the song and had everyone listen to it
while he stood on stage.
Take a look at this.
♪ -Across the plains of Texas ♪
♪ From sea to shining sea ♪
♪ From Detroit down to Houston ♪
♪ And it's time we stand and say ♪
♪ That I'm proud to be an American ♪
♪ Where at least I know I'm free ♪
♪ God bless the USA ♪
-Yeah, it's that long.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's like a kid in the church choir
who just pretends he knows the words.
Like, ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh ♪
There's probably an "oh" somewhere in there. Yeah.
It's just so odd. -What is going on?
-Right after that, Trump played another song too.
Let's check that out.
♪ -Losing my mind just a little ♪
♪ So why don't you just meet me in the middle? ♪
[ Laughter and applause ]
♪ -Oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ The right stuff ♪
[ Laughter ]
You hear about this?
Trump just hosted a White House event
to celebrate products that were made in America.
And one of NASA's space capsules
was actually parked on the front lawn.
There's a picture. Check it out, yeah.
When he saw that parked outside,
Trump was like, "It's an invasion. Call the space force."
[ Laughter and applause ]
"Call the space force."
Later, the Secret Service
found Melania strapped inside the capsule,
frantically searching for the blast off button.
She was like, "Oh, come on." [ Applause ]
"Don't find me, don't find me."
And Trump actually talked about the space capsule
during his speech,
but he had a little trouble pronouncing the word "capsule."
Take a look at this.
-From the Wright Brothers
to that beautiful Orion space capsicle.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-"I meant to say capsule, but I was thinking about popsicles.
So, capsicle.
It's a capsicle."
It wasn't the only word that Trump had issues with.
During the same speech,
he tried to talk about great American leaders.
Check out how he said the name Hamilton.
Watch this.
-Throughout our history, our greatest leaders,
Washington, Jefferson, Hamil, Lincoln.
[ Laughter ]
-What?
-You know Hamil, the guy who fought in the American revolu?
[ Laughter and applause ]
Hamil, the great leader.
Mark Hamill, who --
Luke Skywalker -- he fought for the space force.
Last night was an all new episode of "The Bachelorette"
and Shark Week is officially underway.
[ Cheers and applause ]
There's a lot of good TV.
They even tried to do a cross-over special
between the two, but it got a little weird.
I'll show you what I mean. Watch this.
-I had the best time swimming with him,
and he is so good at making eye contact.
He has shown me so many great sides to him.
And then his smile.
I feel like when he smiles, it just picks up his entire face.
And he's easy on the eyes.
And I am falling for him.
-She's falling for him. [ Cheers and applause ]
And finally, I saw that Sean Spicer
has written a new book about his time in the White House
called "The Briefing."
And if you want to see him,
he'll be at Barnes & Noble tomorrow from 10:00 a.m.
until his shift ends.
We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the Roots.
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét