Dear Parents,
First off I want to thank you for taking the time to read my letter.
I know as full time workers your schedule is undoubtedly always full.
The reason I'm writing to you is because I want tell you the reason for why I have done
all of this: my son Lucas.
Lucas was a bright, energetic little boy that was having his fifth birthday just this last
March.
My wife and I set up his party to be based entirely on his favorite hit TV kid show.
He constantly carried around an action figure everywhere he goes, and sang every single
jingle that the show has made.
We bought him a cake and sent out invitations to the party as early as possible because
we wanted it to be the most extravagant birthday bash he has ever had.
Sadly though, Lucas never got a chance to celebrate his birthday.
On February 23, 2018 his life changed forever.
I picked him up from his kindergarten class around 3:15 in the afternoon like I always
do.
After getting him strapped into his booster seat and turning on the radio I reached into
his bag and checked his weekly progress report.
We had made an agreement that if he received gold stars at least three times in the week
that I would reward him with ice cream, and like any other little kid he tried his hardest
to achieve that.
So we took an alternative route to our favorite Baskin Robbins, all the while Lucas was excitedly
singing a Bruno Mars song word for word as it played.
I like to think that the last thing he remembers is that song, but I can't say for sure.
I tried to merge with oncoming traffic to cross and reach the ice cream shoppe when
we were struck by a car on the driver's side.
When I regained my senses I was listening to the sound of a heart monitor in the back
of an ambulance.
I could tell that I had broken my collar bone and several smaller bones in my leg.
My arm was being wrapped up carefully to prevent further breaks and blood covered my lower
torso.
My first thought went immediately to Lucas, and the paramedics quickly reassured me that
he was in another ambulance being taken to the same hospital as me.
I probably had a thousand other questions on my mind, but none of them really seemed
to matter as they finished setting up my IV in the shaking ambulance.
When I got to the ER I quickly discovered that Lucas' injuries were far more severe
than mine.
The collision had been directly against his side of the vehicle, and if it had not been
for the padding on his car seat he would have died immediately upon impact.
As soon as the doctors brought him in they put him on life support and rushed him to
the pediatric intensive care unit.
For the next six hours I waited as a team of professional surgeons worked tirelessly
to extract over thirty shards of glass and metal from my son's abdomen and lungs.
Later that evening they told me that Lucas would need to be on life support for quite
some time, and that he would likely need to have a new kidney due to all the scars on
the organ.
It was also highly likely he would not walk properly without support again.
A few family friends of our suggested creating a go fund me web page to help get Lucas the
funds he needed for all of the medical procedures and the State did everything in their power
to search for a match in the organ donor database.
On March 5, around 11:15 the doctors told us that Lucas probably wouldn't last through
the night.
I went into the room and climbed into bed with him, stroking his long brown hair as
I watched my baby struggle to breath.
I knew that even though he was in a medically induced coma to help with the pain he could
still hear my voice so I read him two of his favorite Dr. Seuss books.
Just as I finished Green Eggs and Ham I saw the heart monitor flatline.
At exactly 1:08pm that day, our only son was pronounced dead.
It was four days before his birthday party.
A lot of people told us to search for God and that he could help us through this hard
time but it seems only a waste of time.
If God wanted to help us, then why would he have taken Lucas in the first place.
My wife and I had difficulty talking to each other as well.
We tried all sorts of routes, from therapy to counseling but ultimately it seemed Lucas
was what had kept us together for so long and with him gone, the gap only grew.
We divorced last month.
She told me she couldn't move on.
But I have seen her with a new man.
I have seen the way she smiles at him.
It has made me think about Lucas a lot lately, and how much I miss him.
You only get one chance to have a kid as perfect as Lucas, and I definitely squandered mine.
When I saw your child sitting alone in the front yard playing with his toys, it made
me think of Lucas right away.
The way he zipped around the yard and spun and leapt.
It made me smile more than I have done in a long time.
I want you to know that no harm will come to your child, because as any good parent
will tell you; children are a gift from God.
It seems clear though that any parent who would simply ignore their child while they
were outside is not fit for the role yet, much in the same way I wasn't when Lucas came
into this world.
There won't be any reason for you to come searching for them, by the time you read this
note we will both be long gone.
But again I just want to reassure you that everything will be fine.
I don't know your child's favorite flavor ice cream or song, but I'm sure we will make
time to get to know each other very soon.
Thank you again for allowing me to have this opportunity to meet your child.
I couldn't have done it without your help.
Maybe they can't be like my Lucas was.
But I will love them just
the same.
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